Hello and Thank You

[Lotsofaijou]

Hello! My name is Ai, I'm in my mid twenties, and I could use some guidance and support.

I'm in love with two men. One of them is my best friend and the other is this new guy in my life. My best friend and I were in a relationship when this new crush came along. I tried to ignore my feelings, but I felt them spoiling my lovely relationship with my best friend. So I confided in him my feelings, which were--and still are--that I love him, and am interested in this new guy. He suggested polyamory for me, and it certainly sounded exactly what I was feeling and wanted. However, when I confided in my family my feelings, they said that it wouldn't be a wise choice, and my best friend would get hurt. I didn't want him to get hurt, and expressed this to him (My friend). He then, quite sadly, said that we'll go on a break, which will give us a chance to explore our other interests and relationships. But, on the plus side, stay in touch, stay close, and keep connected and communicating.

This gave me a chance to test the waters with my new love interest, who's quite monogamous. He only wants one woman, and for her to only love him. I've fallen in love with him, and care and love him a lot, but I still love my best friend. I would love to have them both, and my best friend is willing to give it a shot, but I'm too scared ask my current beau. He's had some hard relationships in the past that has made him a bit paranoid and turned into quite the jealous type, but still...I just love them both, and want them both.

So...That's me! There's still much to learn and research about polyamory, but it certainly makes my heart feel at ease.

Thank you!

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Ai,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It's a good idea to join Polyamory.com, and to do as much reading as you can, as well as posting any questions you have along the way. I hope things work out with both of the guys you're in love with, though of course you have some hurdles to overcome if the new guy is strictly monogamous. You can't just make somebody accept polyamory; there are no magic words to convince someone. The best you can do is present your case and accept his answer, even if that's hard to do.

I'm glad you could join us, and hope we can help.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

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