hello from the east coast

I

ironwill

New member
Hi,

I'm very new to Poly. Been reading up about it for about a month. It all started when my wife was in the start of an emotional affair with a guy from over seas. She was very confused as what to do. She still loved me, but had strong feelings for this new person. Something was missing from her heart. I know about the person before she got emotionally attached. So I googled when a person loves two people. This led me to leaning about poly. The more and more I read, the more I knew this was for us. So about three weeks ago i brought this up to her. She had never heard of it. This was a new concept for her. Both of us were brought up that Monogamy was the only practice. This was brought up to the other guy. The other guy knew poly and had a friend who practiced it. Long story short, we all on board to be a happy family. I believe we are looking to be a closed Polyfidelty V. My wife is the happiest she has been in a long time. I'm a lot happier and while it still feels a little strange getting to know the guy my wife loves. It also feels very natural. I know it's just my old Monogamist self thinking. I know there is a lot of hard work and communication ahead of us. Not to mention we have to figure out how to get him over here. We are taking it slow and being honest with everyone Any advice I can get will be most welcome. I just found this site a day or two ago, so am still reading a lot of the other post.
 
Greetings ironwill,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Kudos to you for being very open-minded about poly, as well as about the overseas guy. Given how deeply monogamy is imprinted on our collective psyche, it can be quite a challenge to consider poly as a possibility. So far it sounds like you have managed to do so with a minimum of jealousy. I'm impressed!

Polyamory.com is a really good place to learn more about poly, I encourage you to continue reading many of our threads, and post your thoughts and questions along the way. Here are a few specific links for you to try:

As it happens, I myself am in a closed poly-fi V, very much like what you have in mind. If you want you can read my story in my blog, especially the first two posts I did in it, but feel free to read as much as you want. Welcome!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Hi and welcome. I think it's great that you've discovered poly. My only advice at this point is to slow down. You don't even know the guy and you are already talking about moving him over here. I understand that the level of excitement for this new thing is high, but I would look at anyone who is overseas with caution. Get to know them first.
 
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