KenBreadner
New member
So glad to have this forum here. My wife Eva and I are new to living polyamorously, although I have thought of myself as poly since long before there was a word for it. (I shared kissing tag partners in third grade without jealousy, and in high school I was always looking for partners for my partners...which confused the heck out of most of them.)
Been 14 years in this marriage, monogamous until very recently, although I have maintained multiple very close emotional relationships that many spouses would consider to be cheating. Eva underwent bariatric surgery last year and has lost over a third of her body weight, which has given her a huge surge of confidence (and libido). I've always known she was poly but never pushed it--it's something I feel you have to discover for yourself.
At any rate, here we are, fresh out of the starting gate. Predictably, she's done exceptionally well in a short period of time; just as predictably, I haven't. It's not a game and I'm not keeping score--I've had a few mostly self-imposed obstacles to work out, anyway.
One, and most trifling, I'm an introvert. Just have to step out of my comfort zone there.
Two--I'm not just vanilla, I'm Madagascar vanilla. It seems to me like poly and kink so heavily overlap that I don't really have an "in". (I certainly have no problem with kink...I just don't really understand it.) I'm the kind of guy who can cuddle (has cuddled) all night, fully clothed. No problem if the whips and chains excite you, they just don't do anything for me.
And three is of course the obstacle we all have: finding like-minded people. They're not exactly thick on the ground in my corner of Ontario and the poly munch I attended last week with Eva was a disaster--it felt like high school all over again, on the outside looking in, nobody so much as making eye contact with either of us. Back on the horse next month, I guess, but in the meantime...I'm glad this forum exists.
Been 14 years in this marriage, monogamous until very recently, although I have maintained multiple very close emotional relationships that many spouses would consider to be cheating. Eva underwent bariatric surgery last year and has lost over a third of her body weight, which has given her a huge surge of confidence (and libido). I've always known she was poly but never pushed it--it's something I feel you have to discover for yourself.
At any rate, here we are, fresh out of the starting gate. Predictably, she's done exceptionally well in a short period of time; just as predictably, I haven't. It's not a game and I'm not keeping score--I've had a few mostly self-imposed obstacles to work out, anyway.
One, and most trifling, I'm an introvert. Just have to step out of my comfort zone there.
Two--I'm not just vanilla, I'm Madagascar vanilla. It seems to me like poly and kink so heavily overlap that I don't really have an "in". (I certainly have no problem with kink...I just don't really understand it.) I'm the kind of guy who can cuddle (has cuddled) all night, fully clothed. No problem if the whips and chains excite you, they just don't do anything for me.
And three is of course the obstacle we all have: finding like-minded people. They're not exactly thick on the ground in my corner of Ontario and the poly munch I attended last week with Eva was a disaster--it felt like high school all over again, on the outside looking in, nobody so much as making eye contact with either of us. Back on the horse next month, I guess, but in the meantime...I'm glad this forum exists.
