hello

M

mygfwantstodate

New member
Hello everyone!! I am coming to this site because recently my long time GF (12 yrs) brought up to me that she would like to be with me, but also wants to start seeing and dating others. She said she's been wanting to tell me this for a while but didn't know how to or when to. She said she loves me so much and I will be her #1 main guy and we will be in our relationship... but she wants to be with others. Said how good this can be for our relationship and make it stronger. Even said how she thought about this for so long. She said she's been with me for most of her life and she thinks her meeting and going out with others will make her feel so beautiful and happy. She said she has so much love for me but feels she can love others. She said it will be so good if our relationship is open like this because she doesn't want to have to cheat on me ever, but she has had these feelings for so long.
 
Welcome!

You talk a lot about what she says, what she thinks and how she feels. Where do you fit in here? Do you want this?

It sounds like you are trying to let her decide how you feel by focusing on her needs, wants and thoughts.
 
Hello mygfwantstodate,

Your girlfriend wants to date, but would she also be okay with it if you date? Even if you don't want to date (mono/poly), you should have the freedom to do so, if she does. Also, will the two of you do some research on open/poly before opening? There is a lot to learn about poly. In any case I hope you'll continue to post on this thread, and let us know how things are going.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
Bobbi said:
Welcome!

You talk a lot about what she says, what she thinks and how she feels. Where do you fit in here? Do you want this?

It sounds like you are trying to let her decide how you feel by focusing on her needs, wants and thoughts.
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I thought about it and am so totally good with this decision and her being open. I do think this will be so good for her to experience! she hasn't been or went out with many guys at all before we started our relationship. I also know she loves me so much (but not so much in the bedroom) ALso there are times too where I have to work very late (sometimes overnight for periods of time. My fir is she will play alone and be with them alone always, she said she will always let me know ahead of time when she is going out with another man
 
It sounds like you have a good plan and arrangement with her. By the way, you seem to indicate that she isn't very interested in you in the bedroom? How do you feel about that? Are you hoping/thinking that her dating others will help with that?
 
kdt26417 said:
It sounds like you have a good plan and arrangement with her. By the way, you seem to indicate that she isn't very interested in you in the bedroom? How do you feel about that? Are you hoping/thinking that her dating others will help with that?
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I am totally okay about that. We've discussed it many times.. I totally see her points and totally agree. She loves me so much and I want her to be happy, and also for her to be satisfied when it comes to that, and if I don't do that for her why not her get that from others? She told me she's not going anywhere and any others she dates often will know that. There is one she's been talking with for a short time, but she's so ready to go out with him and see how it goes. She said there's some feelings she seems to be having for him by chatting (possibly one other guy too).
 
Okay cool. You and she are in agreement about things, this will be good for her and you want the best for her.
 
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