Hey there, just wanted to say that as someone who is trans (trans man) and had this type of relationship with another trans person (trans femme) I have recognized that with other queer people these feelings are pretty heightened in eays that they just aren't for non-queer people. Not saying that's what's happening here but it can play a part in why it's so hard to let go and why the pain feels so intense.
Im also someone who gives unconditionally, it's a part of who I am and because I have no intention of changing who I am in order to emotionally assimilate I now know I have to be careful of who I give myself to. It's really really hard to practice but it began with kindness towards myself. You are deserving reciprocation, there is nothing wrong with you, and you don't have to be perfect. Love is unconditional but relationships are not. Every person you allow to have access to you has the power to change you in irrevocable ways so make sure that it's for the good of your wellbeing. Anyone who loves you wants to give you that. My heart goes out to you.
but I know I need to. I just have to figure out how.