Being poly is different for everyone. It really is a very broad term, so all I can do is tell you what it means for me. It is about making connections and having loving relationships with more than one partner, and all of my partners are free to do the same, in an honest and open way,
Eventually I would like to live in a family with more than one partner.
In my current situation, I have 2 men, one of whom I have been involved with for nearly 6 years and the other only a matter of months. So obviously, just now, both relationships are not equal. However, things are fair in the sense that both partners are respected and the newer partner has the option to develop things seriously enough that he may one day come live with us and join our family,
I would so appreciate any and all tips and or pointers to starting a healthy poly relationship.
Tips, off top of my head:
1. COMMUNICATE about everything. Radical honesty. If you feel jealous or insecure, tell your partner(s), no matter how difficult the conversation might be to face have that conversation. If you are happy, tell them that too.
2. Do not let the new relationship energy overwhelm you. This is very hard. You will fall in love, and it will be easy to want to spend all your time with the new partner. However, remember the other person(s) in your life. Don't neglect them. Make time for both and be honest about how much time you want and need.
3. Be understanding if your partner gets caught up in new relationship energy. It will probably happen!
4. Be very careful about STDs. I get everyone checked out at a STD clinic and I am very careful about using protection.
I am sure others can add more. There is plenty more I haven't mentioned.
I have never been in a poly relationship and the person I want to start one with I have not known long. I trust him to a point. We have only known each other for a year.
I think a year seems like a reasonable amount of time, but is there any rush? I would recommend you read everything you can first. There are lots of links to different resources on the forum and elsewhere on the net. Read about the good and bad things and then make your mind up if this is for you.
I have always wanted to share my love with more than one person and be loved by more than one. I pictured being in a family-like relationship with more then one person, where everyone is loved and appreciated equally.
There is nothing wrong with this being your ideal. Just be flexible, because you cannot predict what will happen. You kind of have to let go and allow things to progress in natural way.
dispite the fact that poly lifestyle can be hard work it is extreemly rewarding (for me anyway)
good luck
Jools
