I broke my silence and feel liberated, but my mono partner is mending -So then I found myself here

[April_Blossom]

Hi from Australia,
You can call me April.

I have been in a Mono relationship for just about 5 years. He's 31, I have just turned 25.
We're not engaged/married, no children yet, but we have recently bought a house together on a lovely, leafy block in the suburbs.
For this, I'll call him Macaw. (He loves pretty, bright-coloured birds).
Macaw is my rock, I moved in after a year together and the rest was sort of history.
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A Back Story..
I have always been a relationship person and multiple at that. I love feeling love and giving love - to/from pets, family, friends and lovers.
Prior to this relationship I had multiple lovers, normal(?) as a twenty year old I guess, but always very sensual, spiritual, positive.
Each relationship I have is different. Everyone is special to me in their own way.
________________________
About two weeks before my birthday something changed in my brain.. It was like I had no idea who I was anymore.
It was scary, for someone who thought they were so sure of themselves and what they wanted out of life.. it just changed. I needed more.
Maybe its the isolation due to the pandemic? Maybe its just growing up? I just need to experience and feel something.
I love Macaw so much and we have done well to ensure to keep our great communication going, despite holding minor details about how I really feel.
Anything new in my life, I tell him. I never want to keep anything from him. I really want to share something new together.

I decided to tell Macaw where my mind was at - which was silly as I don't think it was as researched as it could have been and came out all wrong.
He said he needed some time to process, even took the day off work because he couldn't concentrate. It was hard.
And, as usual, he never ceases to fall short of amazing, to come around after some thinking and said hes open to talking and learning more.

We understand each other on a whole different level now. I feel more connected to him than I ever thought possible - but I gathered he isn't completely there yet and needs some more time.

I have seen a few threads already for Mono couples becoming Poly or Mono partners dealing with a Poly partner and they are great.. we still have a lot of work to do.
Since our chat we have been more intimate which has been great too

Sorry for the long winded intro, I guess writing this helped me process the last couple of weeks.

So Hi! Now I'm here!

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings April,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It sounds like you are newly getting your bearings with open/poly, or with mono/poly, at least in this relationship. I'm not sure what would help you. There is a really good book you can read; it is called, "Opening Up: a guide to creating and sustaining open relationships," by Tristan Taormino. The two of you might want to read it together. It has some really good lists of questions for you at the end of each chapter.

Definitely read and post a lot on this forum. There is so much you can learn here, so many helpful perspectives. Just getting your thoughts written out can be a huge help, as you have seen. You can also ask any questions you may have; we'll do our best to answer. I'm glad you could join us!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!

 

[April_Blossom]

Greetings April,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It sounds like you are newly getting your bearings with open/poly, or with mono/poly, at least in this relationship. I'm not sure what would help you. There is a really good book you can read; it is called, "Opening Up: a guide to creating and sustaining open relationships," by Tristan Taormino. The two of you might want to read it together. It has some really good lists of questions for you at the end of each chapter.

Thank You so much!
I will look into the book recommendation, sounds like a good move

 

[kdt26417]

It's the best book I know of for open/poly. There are other good books of course, but I know reading a book is always a big commitment. It is for me anyway!