Hi,
I've been married for 20+ yrs. Just about three yrs ago, we were in a relationship with another woman that I've known since high school ('86). This was our first experience with another. My wife and I had been discussing having an SO, but who?? Then about three yrs ago, I was looking for old classmates on a website and an old friend found me. So we started talking to each other and catching up with our lives.
You see, before I got married, we had history together. I got married, she moved out of state and we began our separate lives. I had a family and a good career, and she became a mom too. One night, having dinner, I asked my wife about her being with us, that maybe she would consider being in a three-way relationship. She said it was cool.
So my ex came down to visit her family... and me. We quickly started having feelings surface again. So the time she stayed we had that lost love we shared. So talking long distance was rough, missing each other, until she got the opportunity to move back home and be closer to her family... and me.
I asked my wife again if she would be the one for us just because I had history with her. My wife said that I should ask her. So all three of us had dinner and talked about our past. When dinner was over, I asked my ex the big question. She was excited about the idea and if it was ok with my wife. My wife advised us to date first to get to know all of us and see if it worked.
About three months into it, I gave her a ring, almost an engagement ring, and she loved it. I told her that the ring was a symbol of my commitment, trust and love for her, that I would not be with anybody else, only my wife and ex, now my SO. We began our new life and it was great, having breakfast, shopping, movies, etc.
But things started to change in my SO. She cheated on me with her ex and denied it. I had to ask him if they did anything and he told me what they did. He asked why. I told that i was in a triad marriage. He was shocked, not at the idea, but that she didn't mention that she was with anybody or seeing anybody. So he befriended her and apologized to me. He didn't have to, because we knew each other since 4th grade.
I was devastated, but I forgave her, because we all need a second chance in our mistakes. She asked for forgiveness and we did. My SO asked me "What do you expect from me?" My wife told her to love me (us), to take care of me as a wife should her husband, and to respect us. She said she could do it. Then my wife asked her if this was what she wanted, and could she handle this, several times, and she said YES.
So within the third year of our marriage a lot happened-- not being where you're supposed to be, going out of town late in the evening and coming back early. My wife had her suspicions about some of her stories or excuses. She said it's women's intuition, and men have blinders on.
Well, my wife was right. She cheated on me again with another guy.
One night I called her, texted her... nothing, nothing. I thought that she was hurt or worse. I checked her place, and nothing. I waited till 7 am, no sleep. So one last chance, I sent her a text saying, I guess she found another fuck buddy. Then she finally replied back to me saying she had an emergency, work-related. BS, another lie.
So I ended it. She didn't even fight, or argue that I was wrong, or anything. She'd given me a ring too. I gave it back to her. No crying or sorrow. NOTHING. So it only showed that she was cheating on me. So I ended it there.
I'm still hurting inside and my wife is pissed at her. We shared so much in those three yrs, music movies, being intimate with each other, and all three of us. I do break down from time to time. Was it real or not? My wife says if I was wrong she should have put up some kind of fight, that she had nothing going on. All she did was say she was done.
She gave up. She said that we were meant to be together and that the man upstairs put us together. I know that things happen for a reason. I'm a firm believer in that. So this happened to be a good reason that it lasted. I wonder if she thinks of me, because I surely do. I try to hide it, but my wife sees right through me.
Thanks for y'all's time. I do appreciate your input and advice, being this was my first poly experience.
Kissman from S Texas
I've been married for 20+ yrs. Just about three yrs ago, we were in a relationship with another woman that I've known since high school ('86). This was our first experience with another. My wife and I had been discussing having an SO, but who?? Then about three yrs ago, I was looking for old classmates on a website and an old friend found me. So we started talking to each other and catching up with our lives.
You see, before I got married, we had history together. I got married, she moved out of state and we began our separate lives. I had a family and a good career, and she became a mom too. One night, having dinner, I asked my wife about her being with us, that maybe she would consider being in a three-way relationship. She said it was cool.
So my ex came down to visit her family... and me. We quickly started having feelings surface again. So the time she stayed we had that lost love we shared. So talking long distance was rough, missing each other, until she got the opportunity to move back home and be closer to her family... and me.
I asked my wife again if she would be the one for us just because I had history with her. My wife said that I should ask her. So all three of us had dinner and talked about our past. When dinner was over, I asked my ex the big question. She was excited about the idea and if it was ok with my wife. My wife advised us to date first to get to know all of us and see if it worked.
About three months into it, I gave her a ring, almost an engagement ring, and she loved it. I told her that the ring was a symbol of my commitment, trust and love for her, that I would not be with anybody else, only my wife and ex, now my SO. We began our new life and it was great, having breakfast, shopping, movies, etc.
But things started to change in my SO. She cheated on me with her ex and denied it. I had to ask him if they did anything and he told me what they did. He asked why. I told that i was in a triad marriage. He was shocked, not at the idea, but that she didn't mention that she was with anybody or seeing anybody. So he befriended her and apologized to me. He didn't have to, because we knew each other since 4th grade.
I was devastated, but I forgave her, because we all need a second chance in our mistakes. She asked for forgiveness and we did. My SO asked me "What do you expect from me?" My wife told her to love me (us), to take care of me as a wife should her husband, and to respect us. She said she could do it. Then my wife asked her if this was what she wanted, and could she handle this, several times, and she said YES.
So within the third year of our marriage a lot happened-- not being where you're supposed to be, going out of town late in the evening and coming back early. My wife had her suspicions about some of her stories or excuses. She said it's women's intuition, and men have blinders on.
Well, my wife was right. She cheated on me again with another guy.
One night I called her, texted her... nothing, nothing. I thought that she was hurt or worse. I checked her place, and nothing. I waited till 7 am, no sleep. So one last chance, I sent her a text saying, I guess she found another fuck buddy. Then she finally replied back to me saying she had an emergency, work-related. BS, another lie.
So I ended it. She didn't even fight, or argue that I was wrong, or anything. She'd given me a ring too. I gave it back to her. No crying or sorrow. NOTHING. So it only showed that she was cheating on me. So I ended it there.
I'm still hurting inside and my wife is pissed at her. We shared so much in those three yrs, music movies, being intimate with each other, and all three of us. I do break down from time to time. Was it real or not? My wife says if I was wrong she should have put up some kind of fight, that she had nothing going on. All she did was say she was done.
She gave up. She said that we were meant to be together and that the man upstairs put us together. I know that things happen for a reason. I'm a firm believer in that. So this happened to be a good reason that it lasted. I wonder if she thinks of me, because I surely do. I try to hide it, but my wife sees right through me.
Thanks for y'all's time. I do appreciate your input and advice, being this was my first poly experience.
Kissman from S Texas
