I am sorry you are hurting. Here's some things you could think about. YMMV.
1) You could acknowledge that your GF has to process her stages of grief. She cannot arrive at instant emotional acceptance after he turns her down. This just happened. Of course she's depressed. She got rejected. Try not to take any answers like, "Maybe, probably," personally. She's digesting stages of grief. The effect of his answer is still rippling.
2) You could tell your GF that you don't want to break up with her, but if you guys ever arrive there, you'd like to be broken up with like this, so you are not caught blindsided. You seem to want reassurance that the ripples in her other relationship aren't going to rock the boat in your relationship with her.
3) You could ask your GF to reassure you that she isn't going to dump you and go be with him. That seems to be the root question. Not so much "Are you done with him, really?" but, "What is going to happen to me?" So you could ask the question you really want answered more clearly.
4) You could ask your GF to read this and do page 5 & 6 things, but remember to keep your emotional-processing needs in balance with her emotional-processing needs. It's hard to break up with someone, do the goodbye sex thing, and be reassuring to another partner who is having a wigginz.
It's also hard to be the partner having a wigginz and wanting emotional support that your partner is too withered to provide right now. But answer to the higher need first. Who is more broken? I think she is. You could not be trying to wring more from a bone-dry person right now. YKWIM? That doesn't take away from the problems; it just adds to them.
5) Are you worried about your GF's commitment to you? Are you worried about cowgirls/cowboys? Talk to her about that at some point later down.
6) Get more sleep. Going without isn't going to help here. Tend to your basic self care so you can be available to support your GF through a hard time. Maybe outsourcing your own UGH elsewhere to this forum, friends, family, etc., will help you be more present for your partner first. Then later, when she's less bedraggled emotionally, she can give you the support, nurturing, and reassurance you crave.
Emotions are sometimes yummy and sometimes yucky to feel. Internal weather is just weather. Do your best to let it blow on through. Hang in there. You will be ok.
HTH,
Galagirl
1) You could acknowledge that your GF has to process her stages of grief. She cannot arrive at instant emotional acceptance after he turns her down. This just happened. Of course she's depressed. She got rejected. Try not to take any answers like, "Maybe, probably," personally. She's digesting stages of grief. The effect of his answer is still rippling.
2) You could tell your GF that you don't want to break up with her, but if you guys ever arrive there, you'd like to be broken up with like this, so you are not caught blindsided. You seem to want reassurance that the ripples in her other relationship aren't going to rock the boat in your relationship with her.
3) You could ask your GF to reassure you that she isn't going to dump you and go be with him. That seems to be the root question. Not so much "Are you done with him, really?" but, "What is going to happen to me?" So you could ask the question you really want answered more clearly.
4) You could ask your GF to read this and do page 5 & 6 things, but remember to keep your emotional-processing needs in balance with her emotional-processing needs. It's hard to break up with someone, do the goodbye sex thing, and be reassuring to another partner who is having a wigginz.
It's also hard to be the partner having a wigginz and wanting emotional support that your partner is too withered to provide right now. But answer to the higher need first. Who is more broken? I think she is. You could not be trying to wring more from a bone-dry person right now. YKWIM? That doesn't take away from the problems; it just adds to them.
5) Are you worried about your GF's commitment to you? Are you worried about cowgirls/cowboys? Talk to her about that at some point later down.
6) Get more sleep. Going without isn't going to help here. Tend to your basic self care so you can be available to support your GF through a hard time. Maybe outsourcing your own UGH elsewhere to this forum, friends, family, etc., will help you be more present for your partner first. Then later, when she's less bedraggled emotionally, she can give you the support, nurturing, and reassurance you crave.
Emotions are sometimes yummy and sometimes yucky to feel. Internal weather is just weather. Do your best to let it blow on through. Hang in there. You will be ok.
HTH,
Galagirl
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*sniff* no fair.....