I’m having problems with my poly relationship

[3isbetter]

I’m having problems with my partner she’s very clingy overly sensitive and overly jealous of my husband or anybody else that is close to me she doesn’t let me have my own space,,, in my own house she lied to my face about smoking my husband and myself we have been dating her over a year and I feel like I just want to end the relationship because I can’t handle the stress that she’s is causing me , I’m I right or what should I do ???

 

[ref2018]

I’m having problems with my partner. She’s very clingy, overly sensitive, and jealous of my husband or anybody else that is close to me. She doesn’t let me have my own space... In my own house, she lied to my face about smoking. My husband and I have been dating her for over a year, and I feel like I just want to end the relationship because I can’t handle the stress that she is causing me. Am I right? What should I do?

Edited for readability.

 

[Bobbi]

You will need to make that choice for yourself. In the meantime you need to establish boundaries and enforce them. Being poly means having autonomy. You need to enforce your space boundary, whatever that is you choose.

Maybe you only see her certain days or limit calls to a certain number daily. Create space between you so she can work on her clingyness issue. Let her know that you need you time and time with your other partner uninterrupted. You will afford her the same quality time when you are with her.

And let her know that if she is unable to give you what you need/work on her insecurity, jealousy, then you’ll have to end the relationship because that is a dealbreaker for you.

Being overly sensitive and having jealousy arent issues, its the behavior they choose to exhibit that can be the problem. People can choose to feel those things and not put it on others to solve.

work with your other partner so she cannot get to you while with him (coming over to “see him” just to get a snitch of time with you, etc.)

 

[kdt26417]

Hello 3isbetter,

It sounds like your partner is causing you a lot of problems, I don't blame you for wanting to end that relationship. Have you sat down with her and discussed these problems? Maybe she doesn't realize that things are as bad as they are.

I hope you can work things out with her,
Regards,
Kevin T.