redheadmama
New member
Hello...
I read one of the other introductions and it struck a chord with me. I was in a strictly monogamous marriage for 23 years... but it was a difficult and emotionally 'barren' union. The only thing that "worked" was sex. Alas, sex alone doesn't make a relationship (although, without it, a relationship is doomed to fail, too). Throughout the marriage, I had felt attraction to others (male and female) - not just sexually, but emotionally/psychologically. However, my ex is a very controlling person and 'monitored' my behavior.
I have been single for a year now and have had a few concurrent relationships with men - although somewhat superficial, as nobody has yet afforded me the opportunity to really get to know him. While I am not looking to get married again - it would be nice to have more than a "FB". I very recently met a gentleman who mentioned his poly lifestyle: he is married and both his wife and he have other 'connections'. We must have discussed it for 4 hours - and I truly feel like that's what I've been looking for ... for years. The idea of connecting with more than one person (male and/or female) on an emotional and sexual level is so appealing to me. It seems almost communal, in a way.
I'm a very sexual person - always have been, for as long as I can remember. I do not view sex itself as a way to communicate caring and love - rather desire and enjoyment and a way to experience pleasure with someone else. As for my interpersonal relationships, I prefer a few good/close friendships rather than many lesser ones. I've done a little reading about the poly lifestyle over the years ... simply because I enjoy learning about relationships and sex, etc. It has always intrigued me -- even moreso since I am now free to live life based on what makes ME happy. It was truly serendipitous to have met this guy the other day: He explained everything so openly and clearly - so now I'm more than just curious... I am *interested*. I just don't know how to go about it.
Does anyone here have suggestions, warnings, guidance, questions I should ask myself before I really pursue this? I hope I'm not being out of line....
I read one of the other introductions and it struck a chord with me. I was in a strictly monogamous marriage for 23 years... but it was a difficult and emotionally 'barren' union. The only thing that "worked" was sex. Alas, sex alone doesn't make a relationship (although, without it, a relationship is doomed to fail, too). Throughout the marriage, I had felt attraction to others (male and female) - not just sexually, but emotionally/psychologically. However, my ex is a very controlling person and 'monitored' my behavior.
I have been single for a year now and have had a few concurrent relationships with men - although somewhat superficial, as nobody has yet afforded me the opportunity to really get to know him. While I am not looking to get married again - it would be nice to have more than a "FB". I very recently met a gentleman who mentioned his poly lifestyle: he is married and both his wife and he have other 'connections'. We must have discussed it for 4 hours - and I truly feel like that's what I've been looking for ... for years. The idea of connecting with more than one person (male and/or female) on an emotional and sexual level is so appealing to me. It seems almost communal, in a way.
I'm a very sexual person - always have been, for as long as I can remember. I do not view sex itself as a way to communicate caring and love - rather desire and enjoyment and a way to experience pleasure with someone else. As for my interpersonal relationships, I prefer a few good/close friendships rather than many lesser ones. I've done a little reading about the poly lifestyle over the years ... simply because I enjoy learning about relationships and sex, etc. It has always intrigued me -- even moreso since I am now free to live life based on what makes ME happy. It was truly serendipitous to have met this guy the other day: He explained everything so openly and clearly - so now I'm more than just curious... I am *interested*. I just don't know how to go about it.
Does anyone here have suggestions, warnings, guidance, questions I should ask myself before I really pursue this? I hope I'm not being out of line....
