Hoshi
New member
I've found an ironic situation in my life and decided to share it, with hope that I can get some advice on it, as well.
The wife and I have been exploring polyamory. She's even stepped out of her comfort zone and pursued encounters with two separate males (friends of ours). Albeit the experiences were sub par, she still has one up on me as far as experiences go. Here is why this is ironic. When I explained to her that I wanted to seek other partners outside of our marriage, she was naturally scared and insecure about the situation. However, after our first threesome and her first step out of monogamy (even though the situation ended badly between the other female and us) she's seemed to be able to move freely along her exploration. On the other hand, I've seemed to hit a brick wall.
The first experience I had was great. But, long story short, the girl, J, ended up wanting more from me than I could give, such as leaving my wife. The second attempt was with a friend from college that really seemed to be down with this lifestyle. I knew her for almost a year.
I received many naked pics and very erotic texts and vids from both of these girls. But just before we were to attempt a threesome with N, she stonewalled us and stopped talking to us.
The third attempt (again, all of these on my part), was with K. While I did not receive any pics, etc., we did very flirty texting with each other. She has been a friend for almost three years. When she came to visit family in town, she said she wanted to hook up and do sexual things. The entire five days she was here, I felt like I was the only one that wanted to do anything. She kept making excuses why she couldn't.
Would someone please tell me what I'm doing wrong here? Am I being too nice? Am I looking in the wrong places? Should I just be an ethical slut instead? Should I give up altogether and save myself the heartache of being shut down?
The wife and I have been exploring polyamory. She's even stepped out of her comfort zone and pursued encounters with two separate males (friends of ours). Albeit the experiences were sub par, she still has one up on me as far as experiences go. Here is why this is ironic. When I explained to her that I wanted to seek other partners outside of our marriage, she was naturally scared and insecure about the situation. However, after our first threesome and her first step out of monogamy (even though the situation ended badly between the other female and us) she's seemed to be able to move freely along her exploration. On the other hand, I've seemed to hit a brick wall.
The first experience I had was great. But, long story short, the girl, J, ended up wanting more from me than I could give, such as leaving my wife. The second attempt was with a friend from college that really seemed to be down with this lifestyle. I knew her for almost a year.
I received many naked pics and very erotic texts and vids from both of these girls. But just before we were to attempt a threesome with N, she stonewalled us and stopped talking to us.
The third attempt (again, all of these on my part), was with K. While I did not receive any pics, etc., we did very flirty texting with each other. She has been a friend for almost three years. When she came to visit family in town, she said she wanted to hook up and do sexual things. The entire five days she was here, I felt like I was the only one that wanted to do anything. She kept making excuses why she couldn't.
Would someone please tell me what I'm doing wrong here? Am I being too nice? Am I looking in the wrong places? Should I just be an ethical slut instead? Should I give up altogether and save myself the heartache of being shut down?