Is Poly for me?

[Mollykins]

Hi,

I’ve been experimenting with poly for a couple years and feel i may be mono. I’ve tried but seem to have little to no interest in dating others when I’m in a relationship. I’ve been seeing someone now for 10mo and, though he sees several others, our relationship is more ‘primary-ish’.

He is an awesome guy but now that things have become serious, I’m having doubts if I’d ever be ok nesting with someone who has partners and I’ve not been able to keep my jealousy at bay most of this month.

I’m going through a rough patch in my life right now and don’t know if i have the bandwidth to deal with my jealousy and being scared of the relationship’s future and wonder if it’s time to step back. Maybe take a break? Maybe transition to friends until i can sort out with going on with me first? Make a boundary that we don’t communicatethe days he has dates so I’m not waiting for a message? I really just don’t know. We don’t fight. We have amazing communication but I’m still stuck

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Mollykins,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I read your other thread, and responded there briefly. To summarize, I think taking a break would be a good idea. After the break, if you're still dealing with jealousy, try one of these links:

• What If I Get Jealous?
• Jealousy, Envy, Insecurity, etc.
• Understanding jealousy
• How do you achieve compersion?
• Jealousy and Insecurity
• The Theory of Jealousy Management
• The Practice of Jealousy Management
• Kathy Labriola: "First Aid" for Jealousy
• Teal Swan: Jealousy and Envy
• Brené Brown: the Power of Vulnerability

But bear in mind, you may still have problems with poly even if you can do something about the jealousy (and insecurity). It may be that poly just isn't for you. Certainly it sounds that way from your initial post here. Hopefully this forum can help you deal with that problem when you come to it. But one thing at a time, give yourself a break first.

We're here to help.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

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