I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and a half. Moved from Kansas to Ohio for her really early on into our relationship, too.
I was apparently her first exclusive/closed relationship.
She would often bring up being poly and how she practiced that in the past.
Discussion of this made me wildly uncomfortable, so very jealous, so insecure. And angry.
I fought tooth and nail over it. Threatened to break up. Everything. I didn't handle it well.
But a few days ago, when I was up alone one night, I had a total awakening. There was nothing wrong with being poly and pursing another person. I largely owe J Konyagi's YouTube channel for helping me understand my intense negative reaction had underlying tones. Yes, I was insecure and jealous. But why? I didn't really have a reason to be. Her channel sort of gave me all the tools I needed to work through potential issues in the future.
Ever since I opened up to polyamory on a personal level (meaning I too am open to it, not just my girlfriend dating others!) my life has been so much less stressful and way, way, way happier. I honestly feel like all my insecurities evaporated... which, if I could tell myself that a few months ago, I'd never ever believe.
I'm overall a happier, healthier person now and I can't believe how free I feel. It feels so good to know my relationship with my gf doesn't have to end just because of potential interest in someone else. It's crazy to say, but I feel more secure than ever!! I'm so happy I made it to this point!
I was apparently her first exclusive/closed relationship.
She would often bring up being poly and how she practiced that in the past.
Discussion of this made me wildly uncomfortable, so very jealous, so insecure. And angry.
I fought tooth and nail over it. Threatened to break up. Everything. I didn't handle it well.
But a few days ago, when I was up alone one night, I had a total awakening. There was nothing wrong with being poly and pursing another person. I largely owe J Konyagi's YouTube channel for helping me understand my intense negative reaction had underlying tones. Yes, I was insecure and jealous. But why? I didn't really have a reason to be. Her channel sort of gave me all the tools I needed to work through potential issues in the future.
Ever since I opened up to polyamory on a personal level (meaning I too am open to it, not just my girlfriend dating others!) my life has been so much less stressful and way, way, way happier. I honestly feel like all my insecurities evaporated... which, if I could tell myself that a few months ago, I'd never ever believe.
I'm overall a happier, healthier person now and I can't believe how free I feel. It feels so good to know my relationship with my gf doesn't have to end just because of potential interest in someone else. It's crazy to say, but I feel more secure than ever!! I'm so happy I made it to this point!