Just me

[KTD22]

I've been in many committed relationships and i wind up cheating. I like being in committed relationships, but would like to flirt and have sexual relationships with others as well. I feel like I'm lacking something being in just one relationship. My ideal would relationship would be one committed primary, but free to talk to other men and maybe having a second relationship. I am in a monogamous relationship now, but i know he would never be open being in an open relationship with me. I love him and don't want to lose him.

 

[kdt26417]

Hello KTD22,
Welcome to our forum.

Sounds like you are in quite a quandary, if your current partner is monogamous and won't tolerate non-monogamy, but you want to be non-monogamous and you don't want to leave him. Basically, if you stay with him, you will not get a good opportunity to be non-monogamous. You'll have to make a choice, one way or another, of what's the most important to you.

While you are deciding, there are a lot of insightful threads you can read here, and you can post any thoughts, concerns, or questions you might have.

Hope we can be of some help to you.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.

 

[KTD22]

He is most important to me, but i feel like i am not able to truly be monogamous. It's not fair to him, but i am really trying.

 

[Nadya]

Maybe you should change your priorities a little and let yourself be the most important to you. First be honest to yourself and take care of your own well-being - then you can truly be honest with others and care for them. If you have this wish to have several partners constantly nagging inside you and you try to ignore it for your partner's sake, you can easily end up resenting him and none of you will be happy.

Just my two cents.

 

[kdt26417]

Yeah Nadya's got a point: You'll have a hard road to travel if you try to give up polyamory for your monogamous partner but you don't really want to do that in your heart. Not saying it's not possible, just saying it's difficult (and somewhat complicated).