Looking for advice on seeking to form a poly relationship

F

foxyman28

New member
Hi there,
My husband and I, we are both men, are both polyamorous and are interested in developing a relationship with a woman, with the hopes of an eventual triad, and I'm looking for advice on how to best find others who are polyamorous who we can form relationships with, first as friends and then potentially as partners and even a member of our family. Any advice?
 
Hello foxyman28,

Hopefully there is a poly group or two somewhere reasonably close to you. If there is, you could attend some of their meetings, potlucks, or get-togethers. This would afford you opportunity to get to know poly people and make friends. To search for the poly group closest to you, google "Nevada polyamory," "Henderson polyamory," or "Phoenix polyamory" or "polyamory" with the name of another large city near you. You may also find one of the following links useful:

Other ideas:
"As for where to meet poly people, if by some chance you are interested in anything alternative like Renaissance fairs, goth culture, sci-fi conventions, indie music, bdsm, or any small fringe group, you will be more likely to meet people who have at least heard of poly and are accepting of it."
-- SpaceHippieGeek, Polyamorous Percolations
Click to expand...

Even if it's not an "alternative" type group, if there's a club or something in your area that does something you're interested in, you can always join that group and it just gives you a way to get out there and meet people. If you meet someone on a platonic level and get to talking about poly, then they can decide how they feel about it without any "pressure to agree." Then if they do decide poly doesn't bother them too much, and some kind of romantic connection subsequently develops, you'll already have "had the poly conversation" with them.

Hopefully some of this post will prove helpful.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
Thank you so much Kevin,
This is really appreciated. I will look into some of those. I'm already on fetlife. I'm a BDSM lifestyler, so I can look into groups for that. Thank you so much for your help.
 
No problem, glad if I could help.
 
Have you considered dating separately? Even in the BDSM community, unicorn hunters tend not to do so well.

https://www.unicorns-r-us.com/

I suspect it will be a lot easier though since you're two men looking for a woman rather than a heterosexual couple looking for a woman... but is it a requirement that your new partner has to be shared? What if the new person hits it off with one of you and not the other?
 
We've dated separately before and found it wasn't for us because of schedule conflicts and me being unable to drive due to a disability. We're not looking for a unicorn, we have no expectations of what this relationship will look like other than it involves a woman who is into BDSM, we don't expect this person to be with only us, we don't expect her to have the same feelings for both of us, we are fine with there being more feelings for one of us than the other, all decisions would be discussed with her before being made, we just want to have a relationship with someone who is part of both of our lives, because as parents, our lives are very connected. In the past, I had a female partner who I Dommed by myself who was also married, all of us were consenting to this arrangement. Now I want to date a person who has some form of relationship with my husband too, he feels the same, and who would be okay with being involved sexually with either of us, not necessarily together. We want to find someone who can form a larger family structure with us, who we can both love in our own ways and who can love us. We hope to eventually build a home and a life with a third person, whether that person has other partners is not a problem in the least. Neither of us believe in primary and secondary relationships, we want all relationships to be valued, with none placed above the other.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top