Making new connections- How do you do it?

mistermaster

mistermaster

New member
Hey there everyone.
I must say that the level of openness and authenticity on this site is nothing short of inspirational.
I have a question about meeting new people/making new connections.
Does it really come down to OKcupid and Craigs list?
I've found that it is certainly a woman's game when it comes to online dating.
All of my initial contacts are well crafted and personal, with a touch of humour, yet , no dice.
Just moved to a new area and left everyone behind, so yeah, it's a lonely world out here for a single poly fella.
Any advice, experiences or suggestions to other online sites would be oh so appreciated.
Thank you all.
 
Historically I've met almost all of my partners offline - mono and poly. When I recently decided to reactivate my OKcupid account specifically to try to meet more poly-minded folks, I started chatting to lots of different people (Caveat 1: I'm a lady, this was probably easier for me), regardless of whether I was 'attracted' to them (Caveat 2: how one is supposed to know if there is attraction based on a photo and a few lines of text is a mystery to me, but I'm sure you know what I mean). I made it clear in my profile that I was looking for friends first, but open to more if more was there.

One of the guys I reached out to invited me and my gf to a local poly event. We went along, and it turned out to be a great night. Since we live in a pretty small city, we actually bumped into quite a few people we already knew (who didn't know we were poly, and vice versa), and I even met a second guy who I had been chatting to online…and lets just say there were definite sparks there. :) So I guess the moral of my story is that I'd use the dating sites as a resource to connect with people in your local area as friends in the first instance, and try to see if there are any meet up groups in your area. If the women you are approaching aren't responding to your messages, how about sending a friendly 'hey, I see you are poly, I'm new in town, I was wondering if you knew of any meet ups in this area?' messages to guys? I'm sure someone can point you in the right direction. :)
 
Any advice for people that would have to drive an hour in a few directions? Let me just put it this way, if I bothered to try and make friends around here in my age range: Meth. I don't want to be around drug users. Here, they would have no problem slipping that shit in to get their new buddies hooked on it too.

I already checked the actual meetup site. Zilch, and one was a college town in a different state (Nebraska). I could check for Denver, CO (5hrs) but I'm going down there for a concert. I'd have no problem driving out for a meetup if I find one there the same day earlier than the concert.

I'm that much in the middle of nowhere that kids from Wyoming get driven in to attend school in the next town over (half hour away) :p.
_____
edit: Just checked Denver, plenty of groups but a meetup the day before and after the concert. Just my luck. Now that I think about it, I wouldn't be all that welcome coming from a different state anyhow. Internet it is.
_____
edit: There are no specific meetup groups for my town or the town 30 minutes away. I searched again for groups in general for things I liked to do. Nothing.
As for trying new things I still need to drive out an hour away. Because the dance classes for my town are for the experienced people only.
If I even want to try anything I have to go out of my way just to do it. No guarantee I'll make any friends. I already don't expect to make friends. F--k, I got the brush off from all but one person on okcupid that messaged me first. Just stopped replying and dropped off the face of the earth, granted I could still see they were online (profile visitor list). They didn't have the extra cheek to just block me :rolleyes:.
 
Last edited:
There's a private facebook group for poly friends all over, some 566 people in the group. Someone in that group has created a calendar and list of different events that happen all over the place.
A large number of the people in the group are in the Vancouver BC/Pacific NW US areas.
PM me if you are interested in finding out how to be added to the group.
There's also a group specific to the pacific NW that exists. It has over 700 members.

I am in both groups and there is a large amount of cross over admittedly. But-if you are interested in meeting people, there's a LOT of information sharing within those groups about events.
 
I already searched. And I don't mess with facebook groups much because of them always changing privacy and posting. Also don't feel like having a second facebook altogether just for this on the off chance facebook indirectly outs me on my only profile.

I only do second profiles for free character slots in gaming. That's it, I can't juggle two facebooks.
 
Last edited:
Totally cool. Just saying.

These two groups have remained private throughout the years I have been on them & one i am a mod in, it wont be changing.

But-no requirement. Just sharin info for the OP in case they want it.
 
Vancouver is near Seattle no? Seattle from the outside looking in has a vibrant poly scene. I suggest checking out the Center for Sex Positive Culture in Seattle. They do a lot more than poly but may have events, mixers, discussions groups you can check out. Or they may know of such things closer to you.

It is a pain to have 2 FB accounts but I find it invaluable. I can be open with my life on the poly/pagan/kinky/alt one and don't have to worry about outing myself to family or work on the other. But you know what you can handle.

*Makes note to drop LR a line*

Good luck OP

PS. Search for poly, polyamory, alternative in meetup.com near you. You might find a local poly group.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top