MF Couple in Northeastern KY looking for a lady to join our relationship

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NEKyCouple

New member
We are a mid 40's married couple who has been interested in the poly lifestyle for a long time. We just frankly don't really know how to go about finding that one special lady for us. We have tried other sources on the internet, all of with no luck. We live in a rural area and it is very hard to meet someone around here while still remaining discreet in our search.

We are successful in our careers, still have two children at home (and wouldn't mind having others here), and are disease and drug free. We can have as much fun being homebodies and watching Netflix or tv/movies as we can camping and fishing or going out to dinner and to the movies. We are very laid back and very easy to get along with.

Our only real requirements in our partner is that she be honest, sincere, loving, and faithful. We do drink socially and do enjoy a few glasses of wine each week when we are winding down from the day and relaxing. She must not be jealous or possessive and must be ready to participate equally in our relationship. We will do anything within our means to make her happy.

We look forward to meeting some people on here and getting to know them. We want to make new friends, as well as hopefully find the love of our lives.
 
Greetings NEKyCouple,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I hope you find the special lady you're looking for. What internet sources have you tried? Here's my list ...

And you can google "Kentucky polyamory" and/or "polyamory" with the name of the major city closest to you.

Also,
"As for where to meet poly people, if by some chance you are interested in anything alternative like Renaissance fairs, goth culture, sci-fi conventions, indie music, bdsm, or any small fringe group, you will be more likely to meet people who have at least heard of poly and are accepting of it."
-- SpaceHippieGeek, Polyamorous Percolations
Click to expand...

Even if it's not an "alternative" type group, if there's a club or something in your area that does something you're interested in, you can always join that group and it just gives you a way to get out there and meet people. If you meet someone on a platonic level and get to talking about poly, then they can decide how they feel about it without any "pressure to agree." Then if they do decide poly doesn't bother them too much, and some kind of romantic connection subsequently develops, you'll already have "had the poly conversation" with them.

Thus and so are some resources/ideas for finding poly people and groups. Whatever method/s you use, be sure to add a generous helping of patience! True love is hard to find; even harder to find in a poly context.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Welcome to the boards! First, it's really recommended (actually, I think it's board policy) that you each have your own account, rather than posting as a couple. It helps avoid confusion in posting, etc.

There are a few really great reads for those who are considering getting into the lifestyle that can be really helpful (regardless of the relationship structure desired). Two great ones:

More Than Two: A practical guide to ethical polyamory
and
The Ethical Slut


For those specifically interested in a FMF triad, I highly recommend this (as a former " HBB unicorn" myself):
http://davidlnoble.livejournal.com/176039.html


The reality is that intentionally forming a triad is very difficult, and often/usually ends poorly (most often for the "third," but also often for the existing relationship). The biggest recommendation, and one you'll see pretty consistently on this site and in most poly resources from experienced poly folk, is to date separately, and if you find someone who happens to click with you both, then that's awesome!!

I look forward to reading more from you both about both!
 
Thanks for the tips and advice. My husband really isn't one to post things like this, so I will be the one monitoring posts, messages, etc.

I have joined some groups on Facebook, POF, and some other social sites, and have posted ads on all of them. It seems like there are 200 couples looking for a lady to every lady looking for a couple. Because we do live in such a small area, it is just hard to meet like-minded people. It's not exactly a subject that you can just bring up in general conversation with just anyone.

Over the last four years we have had several prospects, but none have actually fit. We just want this really badly and as we get older, our chances are sure to diminish.
 
Do you only date as a couple?

NEKyCouple said:
Thanks for the tips and advice. My husband really isn't one to post things like this, so I will be the one monitoring posts, messages, etc.

I have joined some groups on Facebook, POF, and some other social sites, and have posted ads on all of them. It seems like there are 200 couples looking for a lady to every lady looking for a couple. Because we do live in such a small area, it is just hard to meet like-minded people. It's not exactly a subject that you can just bring up in general conversation with just anyone.

Over the last four years we have had several prospects, but none have actually fit. We just want this really badly and as we get older, our chances are sure to diminish.
Click to expand...
 
Sorry, didn't meant to stop the post there!

You are correct, and possibly even underestimating, when you say there are far, far more couples looking for a HBB than HBB looking for couples. Very few people looking for that scenario will find what they are looking for (the article above gives some great info on triads, how the work, how to help them work, etc., btw). If you're willing to date bi-women who are already partnered and not poly-fi to the two of you, your chances are better. If you date separately, rather than as a couple only, your chances are better.
 
I understand all of that, but my husband and I have been together for 25 years. We don't want to date separately or date a lady who is already in a relationship. We want a true triad where we are all three equals.
 
As extreme as this is gonna sound, what are the chances you could move to a large, poly-friendly city? There's a thread discussing such cities at the following link: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?p=265812#post265812

As you said your chances diminish as you get older, so would moving be a way to speed up the process?

Sorry I can't think of any better suggestions. :(
 
So, are you wanting someone to then move to you (since you say you've exhausted your options in your small area)?
 
Since you're looking for a woman to be an equal partner, why be discreet in your search? If she's going to be equal, you'll need to be publicly out anyway, so it would potentially really expand your options to start that process now.
 
It's hard to do in respect to our families, colleagues, etc. We want to make sure we find someone before we "out" ourselves. Crazy, I know, but we don't want any distractions along the way.
 
Well, I'm sure it won't be easy to find a woman who is right for you, but if you have patience and a positive attitude, hopefully you will get there. Keep us posted.
 
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