mono in a new mono/poly relationship

[daledavis67]

Hello all,

My name is Dale and I am new to Polyamory. I am looking for information and resources to help me in this transition. I have been a serial monogamist my whole life. I dated multiple people at the same time but when the sexual component was added I chose to be only with that partner and either cooled the other relationships or ended them all-together.

My wife and I have been together for 8 years and married since Sept 2014. She recently told me she wanted to open our relationship and her interest was in men and women. I was aware of her interest in women. She kept her interest in a deeper relationship with another man as a way to protect my feelings.

I am playing catch-up now and could use help processing my feelings and emotions.

 

[tronprogram]

I'm new to this myself, but I just wanted to chime in and say welcome because one of my best friends is named Dale Davis. lol

 

[opalescent]

Welcome daledavis!

Good for you in reaching out and trying to begin figuring things out. If you have specific questions, feel free to ask them.

Also, I really encourage you to search older threads here on mono/poly relationships (assuming you wish to remain monogamous yourself). There are fairly common reactions, assumptions, thought patterns that come up a lot here. You might find it helpful to read them. (keep in mind that often we see people in crisis, on their worst days/times in their life - that will color what you read.)

Click 'Search' - it's on the blue bar up above towards the right. If you click 'Tag Search' under that, enter 'mono/poly' or similar search words and see what comes up.

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Dale,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I see you have another thread, I will look at it shortly and respond there. Sounds like you're experiencing some system shock due to your wife's confession.

We'll try to help!
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

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Welcome aboard!