I have recently ended a three-year monogamous relationship, but am currently still living with my ex-partner and his 5-yr old. I consider her my step-daughter.
When we first met I was adamantly against relationships, on the basis of my not-quite-understood polyamorous feelings. Still, there was an undeniable attraction between us. These things do seem to happen when you're least ready for them. After a few months of trying to be just friends and many debates about monogamy, I caved in and compromised my beliefs to try and suit his.
We have lived incredible well together. However, I've never been entirely comfortable with his possessive jealousy. Although I never cheated on him, I was left feeling as guilty, as if I had, because of his often paranoid, jealous reactions. I felt guilty about a strong emotional connection I have with another person, which felt like a betrayal to me, as with his definite monogamy, it is a connection he cannot really understand or accept. I did not act upon this connection.
For these reasons, and a few other issues I have with needing more freedom, and other inequalities, I ended our relationship. We were both quite hurt, but he has been more understanding than I'd ever imagined he would be.
We will be living together for another two weeks. We are still sharing a room. We seem to be closer now than ever before, though technically, we are not together anymore.
He admits to being unable to see me with anyone else, but knows it is no longer his place to withhold me from doing so. I love him, but cannot be confined. Things would be perfect if they could continue the way they are. I feel like we are more together than ever, but he is still unable to accept me as his partner in this way.
Is it hurtful and selfish to still be having relations with him when it defies his stance on relationships so?
When we first met I was adamantly against relationships, on the basis of my not-quite-understood polyamorous feelings. Still, there was an undeniable attraction between us. These things do seem to happen when you're least ready for them. After a few months of trying to be just friends and many debates about monogamy, I caved in and compromised my beliefs to try and suit his.
We have lived incredible well together. However, I've never been entirely comfortable with his possessive jealousy. Although I never cheated on him, I was left feeling as guilty, as if I had, because of his often paranoid, jealous reactions. I felt guilty about a strong emotional connection I have with another person, which felt like a betrayal to me, as with his definite monogamy, it is a connection he cannot really understand or accept. I did not act upon this connection.
For these reasons, and a few other issues I have with needing more freedom, and other inequalities, I ended our relationship. We were both quite hurt, but he has been more understanding than I'd ever imagined he would be.
We will be living together for another two weeks. We are still sharing a room. We seem to be closer now than ever before, though technically, we are not together anymore.
He admits to being unable to see me with anyone else, but knows it is no longer his place to withhold me from doing so. I love him, but cannot be confined. Things would be perfect if they could continue the way they are. I feel like we are more together than ever, but he is still unable to accept me as his partner in this way.
Is it hurtful and selfish to still be having relations with him when it defies his stance on relationships so?
