Moving to poly

Whose to say that your mistress will keep her interest in rough sex and her sex drive wont decline.

Murf and I went at it like rabbits in the beginning guess what it leveled off.

Ok the sex is good but you make no mention of her qualities outside the bedroom . When your blood returns to your brain you may see more clearly .

If you have a daughter how would you feel if a man treated your child the way you are treating your wife.

And what kind of woman disrespects another woman by cheating with her husband .
 
Torchwriter said:
Last night my wife and I were discussing love and talked a little bit about poly. She basically said she'd be fine with it as long as the 3rd helped around the house with diaper changing, chores, etc.
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I think you'd be better off hiring a nanny or maid. That's not what girlfriends are for.

Torchwriter said:
We were just talking in the hypothetical sense.
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Hypothetical, eh? So you mean you did not confess your cheating?
 
Until you learn to be true to yourself - and understand that you have chosen a personal code to live by regardless of external circumstances - then you can't be true to anyone else.

I ask you, how would you feel if you're wife came to you with the same story you've told us? Only her version would go like this: I know our sex life has been non-existent. That's because I have been having an affair. (Although I really suspect in her case, the lack of sex is due to her exhaustion caring for your kids while you're out banging the mistress.)

As for the mistress, of course it's easy with her - you have all of the fun and none of the responsibility. I suspect her reasons for being the mistress are much the same: fun, but no responsibility. You may find real life to be another thing entirely.

If you have issues with your wife, why don't you do her the courtesy of talking to her about them and seeing if mutual understanding and compromises can be achieved?

I know you'd thought coming to a group that understands loving multiple people would gain you more understanding - but the way we make those multiple relationships work is though excessive communication and honesty. So yeah, you've flunked the first two requirements.
 
Just an update on this. The mistress and I broke up and I came clean about the affair with my wife. I wish she blew up at me, but she didn't. We're going to go to couples therapy to see if we can work things out. I don't think we will be able to, but want to work through the therapy and make a sound decision for the kids.
 
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