My Version of a Sorta Fairytale

Truth

The moment you realize your unicorn isn't all she makes you think really sucks. When we are at our end of town if I even slightly treat her as a friend and not a girlfriend she freaks on me but....take me to her neck of the woods and if I touch her at all like a girlfriend she pulls away from me unless it's some place secluded...but she has no problem touching the hubby like he is hers. What's that about?
 
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The Long Road Back

I've been back to my old tricks of start…stop…rewrite…and trash..rinse…repeat. I have a bad bad tendency to get off subject and lead my story away to place I don't know if I'm ready to even explore full with myself let alone purge it on the internet. I've decided however it is time to suck it up and just write. Whatever comes out, well fuck it put it out in the cosmos and whatever will be will be.

Since the break up with Giggles in May life went from insane to calm to normal then right back to insane. I guess before I get into where I am I should back track a bit and get into where we were at. The break up was heart wrenching. My heart was broken, Nails' heart was broken, and Giggles heart was broken. I knew she was hurting but of course in my own heart and anger I wouldn't allow myself to acknowledge it. It took me a while to realize how immature I was being at times about it. I had to do some serious soul searching and realize I was never really in love with Giggles. I was in love with the idea of her but not the girl herself.

She was a horrible fit for us. It was no ones fault really. Nails and I are very open and sharing people, Giggles was not so when we were pushing her to share more of her with us it was unfair and something she really couldn't do. Giggles wanted a commitment from us, to move in and share our families. Nails and I both knew that wasn't the right step for us. So she did what she had to and she ended the relationship she saw as going no where. She was right, of course, both Nails and I knew it we just hadn't been willing to admit it. We are both loyal to a fault so breaking up even when we know it is for the best is hard.

Nails took everything a lot harder then I did and that is where a lot of my heartache come from. There were nights I was all but begging him to work things out with her for himself just so he would be ok but he never would. We've talked about it since and he says he always knew she wasn't right for us and even less right to be his girlfriend without me. He loves her. He misses her but she ripped his heart out and he says he will never trust her.

He had messaged her once said he begged her to talk to him, to explain, to set his soul at ease but she wouldn't. She remained cold and distant. This was when he changed. His words became hurtful when he spoke of her and he said it made it easier if he just hated her. Nails hates no one, ever, so to have him take on those feels was like a knife through my heart but we all deal with things as we must and this was his way.
 
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It didn't take long, once Giggles stepped out of the picture, for our friends to come forward with their dislike of her. I guess she had a way of making people around us uncomfortable, not so much with us having a girlfriend, but with the way she would constantly pull us away from everyone. I didn't see it, I still don't know if I see it. To me it is just how things go when you're with someone new and you only get so much time with them, you want to let them have your time. Regardless, water under the bridge right?

It was probably about a month after Giggles left that Pumkin kissed me. I was pretty drunk so I'm a little fuzzy on the details. She had made a few sexual comments towards me in the past but I had always taken them has "ha ha" funny. Nails had been telling me for a while that Pumkin wasn't kidding even when we were with Giggles but I just thought he was reading into things. I guess he was right.

She's one of my closest friends and I adore her but I have to be very very careful with her. Punkin is a VERY jealous person. I'm honest with her, like she knows that I will always be open to other relationships and that she will not be my only girlfriend. We have been taking things very very slow and are more friends then anything. I had a long talk with her boyfriend, John5 about how ok he was with it and I got the green light to move in whatever direction we wanted. I think slow and steady is the best route, my friendship with her has to come first. Things could get too messy for too many people if it didn't. John5 and Nails are really good friends not to mention the three of them, Nails, John5, and Pumkin, all work together. Yeah, exactly!
 
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