My wife's boyfriend?

[jafo14]

My wife has a boyfriend, also.

I don't know if I agree with all of your views, but you did a magnificent job of explaining it. I greatly appreciate your explanation. Much food for thought. I am going to tell Maca to read your post. Thank you.

 

[jafo14]

My wife has a boyfriend

Look, why are you so worried about her? Don't you see her every day? Doesn't she sleep next to you? My wife has a boyfriend also, but the kind of relationship they are in, it's just getting to start. I will tell more soon as I see a reply and how all started.

I did have a talk with my wife, and it went horribly, but as of now, we are okay. I guess it's insecurity. I know that if some other guy steals her away, then she has changed as a person and is no longer the woman I'm in a relationship with.

I like that there is an ongoing conversation about the jealousy/possessiveness thing. Makes you think about what is going on or not going on in your relationships.

 

[JohnnyDangerously]

One of the things I love about language is its ability to grow and evolve with the societies that it inhabits. Even the biblical definitions you cite have been translated and re-translated from cultures that are very foreign to ours. That's what interpretation is for. It's how we find the way to attach ideas to words in ways that are relevant and can be understood in the context of the society that uses them. So for me, it's only natural that definitions for things such as envy and jealousy evolve to be more relevant to the people that use them

For me, I can't apply the definitions you use to polyamory because I don't view another person or their love as something that I lay claim to or something that is rightfully mine. For me, love falls under the category of grace. Grace is neither deserved, nor rightfully belong to anyone. It's simply there to be appreciated and treasured. The love I have for a partner, or receive from a partner, is not a possession for me to hold, but a grace for me to appreciate every day.

This was the problem I had, as well. Just because something has been freely shared with you over a period of time does NOT give you ownership of it. I can let someone borrow my car for weeks, months, even years, but it still doesn't make the car theirs. Love is not a right; it is a GIFT, freely given by one person to another. Though it IS easy to take for granted, we shouldn't.

 

[polandrylady]

Hmm...

Then she values you, but hasn't communicated her own needs.

I've spoken to my wife about my coworker. I told her I felt she was being possessive, as opposed to being jealous. Jealousy is wanting something someone else has. Possession is not wanting anyone to have what you have. She fears someone will steal me away. Any thoughts about this topic?

 

[threesnocrowd]

Hey Jafo,
Fill us in your your relationship with your wife and how she met her boyfriend. How long have you been married? How old are you guys? How is it going? We are looking for a boyfriend for my wife and kinda want to know how things are for other people in this situation. Look forward to hearing from you!