Me and my lady have been in a polyamoris relationship for about 6 months now. We got started when she asked me for an open relationship. It was hard to accept at first but, after going through my insecure and jealousy period. I finally understood that she found a connection with someone that was just different and could give her something that I couldn't. Months later I asked her about being poly. After looking into this life, we decided on this journey together. Now the problem is when I tell her I am talking to another woman and have a possible interest. She gets mad at me and gets jealous. This has gotten to the point that I have thought about ending things. I am just confused and don't know what to do. Has anyone else been in this similar situation? If so, advice is very much needed.
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- Thread starter Payne80
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Hi Payne80,
Jealousy is something that often happens, it can't always be helped. The thing to do is to explore the jealousy, and dig down to its roots to see what's causing it. Perhaps it's a need that needs to be met. The thing is, it's your lady that's experiencing the jealousy, and she must be the one to dig down and explore it. No one else can do that for her. The most you can do is tell her that you've observed the jealousy, and the anger, and you hope she'll let you know if there's something you can do to bring her some relief. It's not like anger and jealousy are fun things to experience.
Keep us posted if you're willing.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
Jealousy is something that often happens, it can't always be helped. The thing to do is to explore the jealousy, and dig down to its roots to see what's causing it. Perhaps it's a need that needs to be met. The thing is, it's your lady that's experiencing the jealousy, and she must be the one to dig down and explore it. No one else can do that for her. The most you can do is tell her that you've observed the jealousy, and the anger, and you hope she'll let you know if there's something you can do to bring her some relief. It's not like anger and jealousy are fun things to experience.
Keep us posted if you're willing.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
Ah, it's easy to say let's be open and when you're the one being the open one. Harder when it's suddenly your partner. That being said, you both agreed to open the relationship and she was equal part in that. Address her jealousy and anger in a healthy way. She's probably feeling insecure that you're happy with someone else now too, so have a discussion on what you two can do together helps her feel more secure, without compromising your new relationship.
It's never easy at first, but you both have to be open with your feelings and able to talk about them. It's ok to for her to FEEL that way. But as Kdt said, they are feelings she needs to work on the same as we do any other feelings.
It's never easy at first, but you both have to be open with your feelings and able to talk about them. It's ok to for her to FEEL that way. But as Kdt said, they are feelings she needs to work on the same as we do any other feelings.