New here, looking for online non-monog class for couples

L

ljarvis

New member
Hello everyone,
First time here, I'm a married woman with a supportive husband who wants to take a class in consensual non-monogamy together with him. He's happy in our monogamous relationship but I would like another male partner and he is willing to try this as a sort of 'gift' to me (he understands how happy it would make me and sees it as a way to strengthen our marriage). Of course he would be free to see another woman if he wanted to, with some rules on both sides of course.
We have kids and full-time jobs so hoping to find an online consensual non-monogamy class to give us some basic knowledge and skills in navigating this. I've also checked out the book Opening Up and we're familiar with Esther Perel's work.
Thanks!
ljarvis
 
Are you Familiar with Franklin Veaux's work? His website, More Than Two, and the accompanying book by him and his partner, are about the closest thing to a class I can think of. They cover everything.

, with some rules on both sides of course.
Click to expand...

This is a common thought among mono people as they begin to explore. https://www.morethantwo.com/polyamorywithoutrules.html might be a good place for you to check out the site.

As always, feel free to ask any questions on here.
 
Hi ljarvis - and welcome to the Forum! I commend you on your plan to do some structured study as you transition into poly. Although I have not attended any classes, I have found the study that I have done with books, web articles, podcasts, and this forum to be invaluable in making the transition to polyamory.

The Polyweekly website at http://polyweekly.com/ does offer at least one online class in poly. Additionally, they have over 500 archived podcasts available at no charge.

"Opening Up" is my favorite introduction to poly and I highly recommend it. If you do make the definite decision to pursue polyamory as a lifestyle choice, I do recommend Veaux's "More Than Two". While I personally found the book to be somewhat ponderous and Veaux to be somewhat dogmatic and condescending, nevertheless the book provides many great talking points and much food for thought, and despite its flaws, really is a must read for anyone committing to a poly lifestyle. The associated website:
http://morethantwo.com also has a great deal of useful introductory information.

Finally, hopefully you will find this forum to be a valuable resource as well. The level of discussion here is generally very mature, intelligent, and thoughtful - one of the highest quality forums I have encountered on any subject. We have a number of experienced poly folks here who are generally friendly and helpful. Feel free to post on the Poly Relationships Corner or General Poly Discussion sections and you are sure to get some helpful responses. Additionally, there are over a quarter million archived posts available through the search function.

Hope this helps and best of luck on your poly journey! Al
 
Greetings ljarvis,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Like Al99 and vinsanity0, I recommend Franklin Veaux to you, he is the closest thing I know of to an online non-monog class for couples. Check out his Poly FAQ, it is a good place to start. And besides Veaux, I encourage you to immerse yourself in Opening Up, it covers all kinds of consensual nonmonogamy.

Also read and post a lot here, there is much collective wisdom you can tap into. I am glad you could join us.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
ljarvis said:
we're familiar with Esther Perel's work.
Click to expand...

Adding my endorsement of Esther Perel. She's a bit more tailored to the tastes and realities of present day marriages than the oft-cited Franklin Veaux, who, to my mind, sets a needlessly unrealistic standard for what poly "should" be. The beauty of poly is that, like any worthwhile social movement, the basic concept is steadfast while the people actually living it can mold it and shape it into a viable and sustainable way of life. Franklin Veaux and books tend give a fossilized view of what poly should look like, whereas Esther Perel, alongside Dan Savage, speak to the concerns and realities of of actual people, as well as interact with them and update their work on an ongoing basis.

However, I agree with Al that the best "class" for learning about poly is this forum. To my view, it's a living master class on relationships in general.

Welcome. :)
 
ljarvis, I too hope that you take advantage of the resources that exist.

Monogamy is like buying a house: it is what it is, & probably won't change much.

Nonmonogamy (polyamory in particular) is like building a house: before you can begin, you need to have a clear understanding of what you want it to become.

You seem to say that you are hoping for an online class because "we have kids and full-time jobs" & therefore no available time. If that is so, how do you propose to have enough time for other "equal" relationships? What major change will you be making between now & then?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top