New/Not so new, but no bothers.

[tryingtobecontent]

I recommended elsewhere these days the Jealousy Survival Guide. It's a good read, I found it very useful.

Endusai recommended this to me and I've been finding it immensely useful after reading one day. The contract and exercises are great. Please take a look.

 

[1234Iwantmore]

Thanks.

 

[kdt26417]

Hi 1234Iwantmore,
It sounds like you have the following fears:

• that she will "get back at you,"
• that she will get overly involved with this new guy,
• that she will get emotionally involved with him (and fall in love),
• that because he is single, he will say all the right things,
• that because he is single, he will want her for a monogamous relationship with him,
• that she will leave you to be with him.

Does that sound about right?

I actually think you should show her that list ... or write up your own and show it to her. If she knows what your fears are, she can offer you reassurance. Of course showing her the list is a little scary to do, as she might take advantage and throw it back in your face. Also, she may not be able to reassure you on every point, for example her getting emotionally involved with the new guy, that may be bound to happen. I'm not saying I know that, I'm just giving an example.

You're trying to be fair to her, and that is commendable.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.

 

[Ravenscroft]

"may want a relationship" is actually part of the POINT of poly. If you want advise about how to be "open" without feelings - you may have come to the wrong place.

Caution, please -- I have lately been warned that saying any such thing is "telling others how they should be poly," which behavior is a short step from suspension.