GreenAcres
New member
You say you're getting ignored on the dating site, and this is frustrating for you. Have you considered the "why" behind the lack of responses? As Magdlyn points out, if women greatly outnumber men in your area, it may simply be a matter of odds, and there's almost nothing you can do about that. Poly people are a really small percentage of the population, and if they have a vast amount of choices, poly women are likely difficult to come by for most of the guys seeking a poly woman simply due to odds. That would suck, but it also may just be reality until you can move after you're done with school.
Alternately, or in conjunction, it could be any, none, or all of these things:
-Your profile isn't intriguing.
-Your situation, as presented on your profile, sounds too limiting (you're busy, and there are likely other men who can present more opportunities for time, etc. than you can at the time)
-Your initial contact with the women isn't engaging enough to grab their attention amongst the throngs of contacts they likely receive.
-Currently, the women you're reaching out to are simply not seeking other male partners (if you're reaching out to only bi women, for example, they may have all the men they want in their life and be seeking other women)
Some of these you can do something about, potentially, and some you can't. There is a thread on the forums, if you do a forum search, about dating profiles. This may help you get an idea of what women may find interesting about a profile, or off-putting, and perhaps you can tweak yours a bit to gain more interest. There are also some topics about initial contact messages (and I think there's some talk of that in the same thread) and what women find interesting enough to reply to. Do a site search and some reading, and see if any of those things could help.
I get the attraction of an egalitarian MFF triad, actually, so you're not alone in thinking that it would be great if one fell together. The unfortunate reality is they are incredibly rare, even in highly-populated poly areas. They are also very difficult to maintain, because it's a fairly unstable relationship configuration. Like a three-legged stool, it can work well if balanced properly, but for most people, other seating configurations (and hence, other poly configurations), balance more readily.
While you aren't a unicorn hunter, a really great article to read is: So, someone called you a unicorn hunter. You're not a couple seeking another woman, so you can kind of ignore those bits, but it's a great explanation of why they're so difficult to maintain, and can help everyone involved avoid some major pitfalls going in, thereby increasing the chances of stability and longevity.
Alternately, or in conjunction, it could be any, none, or all of these things:
-Your profile isn't intriguing.
-Your situation, as presented on your profile, sounds too limiting (you're busy, and there are likely other men who can present more opportunities for time, etc. than you can at the time)
-Your initial contact with the women isn't engaging enough to grab their attention amongst the throngs of contacts they likely receive.
-Currently, the women you're reaching out to are simply not seeking other male partners (if you're reaching out to only bi women, for example, they may have all the men they want in their life and be seeking other women)
Some of these you can do something about, potentially, and some you can't. There is a thread on the forums, if you do a forum search, about dating profiles. This may help you get an idea of what women may find interesting about a profile, or off-putting, and perhaps you can tweak yours a bit to gain more interest. There are also some topics about initial contact messages (and I think there's some talk of that in the same thread) and what women find interesting enough to reply to. Do a site search and some reading, and see if any of those things could help.
I get the attraction of an egalitarian MFF triad, actually, so you're not alone in thinking that it would be great if one fell together. The unfortunate reality is they are incredibly rare, even in highly-populated poly areas. They are also very difficult to maintain, because it's a fairly unstable relationship configuration. Like a three-legged stool, it can work well if balanced properly, but for most people, other seating configurations (and hence, other poly configurations), balance more readily.
While you aren't a unicorn hunter, a really great article to read is: So, someone called you a unicorn hunter. You're not a couple seeking another woman, so you can kind of ignore those bits, but it's a great explanation of why they're so difficult to maintain, and can help everyone involved avoid some major pitfalls going in, thereby increasing the chances of stability and longevity.
