Newbie Post

[ArmorAlchemist]

Hello,

Completely new to the forum, and might as well be completely new to polyamory. I am a writer and artist (and educator, and magician!) from Oklahoma. I am in an until-recently-monogamous relationship with my fiancee, who is an incredible nature photographer, videographer, and all 'round amazing and wonderful person. We are both in our mid-late 20s.

We've been together more than 5 years now, and will be getting married next year. So of course, we decided to try polyamory the year before we get married At first, we thought of it more as an "open relationship" type of situation, but the more we looked at it, the more we realized neither of us was really built for the secrecy about it, and we both wanted deeper emotional connection with the people we date (we're not one night stand kind of people, if that makes sense).

I'm really hoping to be able to get into some good discussions and learn more about all this on the forum, and hopefully in real life (if we can find some poly groups in OK! We still haven't heard from the groups in OKC or Tulsa... alas. )

Oh, and even though we've only been at this for a few weeks, I've already found someone, myself! My fiancee hasn't yet, but my situation was far from regular. After talking with an old and very close friend about polyamory to try and hash things out, I found out she was also exploring it, confessed my long held feelings for her, found out she felt the same way, and I've been feeling indescribably happy ever since. That, and frustrated, since we live half a country apart.

Can't wait to talk to you all!

--Al

 

[Nadya]

Hello and welcome to the forum!

It is indeed a good idea to explore polyamory before getting married. Now you have the opportunity to learn more about each other and see if this poly life is good for you both. Just remember, if your poly adventure brings up things that need re-considering, it is okay to postpone the wedding in order to sort things out properly.

Good luck with your new relationship with an old friend Hope everything works out fine between you all.

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings ArmorAlchemist,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I didn't know OKC or Tulsa had local poly groups ... Do they have regular potlucks, or anything like that? Albuquerque has a group that gets together twice a month.

So, you have a long-distance relationship now. I can imagine how that would be frustrating. Will you or she possibly move so that you'll live local to each other? Will one of you fly out to visit the other from time to time?

I look forward to chatting with you some more. Since I usually follow the intro board, you can ping me on this thread if you want just about anytime.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

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Welcome aboard!

 

[GreenApples918]

I didn't know OKC or Tulsa had local poly groups ... Do they have regular potlucks, or anything like that?

Whoah! Tulsa, I have been off the grid for too long.
I've let you down.

Anyway, yes. There are poly groups in Tulsa and OKC, both connected to / part of http://www.okpolynetwork.com/
There's a link buried in there to their facebook page

My wife and I went to one meeting just as my first poly girlfriend was going mono - and we weren't sure what we expected to find at the meeting, or if poly was really what we were going to stick with.
We found the host family to be the sweetest; very organized and literate. She (Pen) is a writer, after all.
While there was a potluck element, there was also a learning/teaching element to it. I believe the leaders planned a short reading or presentation on a poly-related topic and opened it for sharing. While that can help get conversations rolling, it also felt a little sunday-schoolish ...

We didn't go back or stay in touch - plenty of excuses but I think the biggest two are, it was simply the wrong timing for us, then we got busy with everything else in life.

Anyway, if anyone logs on here and does a search for Oklahoma or Tulsa, I'm here. I'll make an effort to become more involved here, and ... ArmorAchemist, wherever you are... I hope it's going well for you!