nancyfore
Member
Hey there. I'm bisexual with no sex drive. (Could be all those kids. lol) But yes, to get the 5 (3 are hubby's from another mother) I biologically had, there were fertility doctors and procedures involved.
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- Thread starter KittenPuff
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Hey there. I'm bisexual with no sex drive. (Could be all those kids. lol) But yes, to get the 5 (3 are hubby's from another mother) I biologically had, there were fertility doctors and procedures involved.
Eponine
Active member
Just FYI, being asexual doesn't mean unable to have sex. Although many asexuals don't want to have sex because they're repulsed or bored by sex, others are fine with having sex to please a partner or to conceive. Some asexuals do have children in the old fashioned way.
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Ha. Thanks for this. I suddenly realized it's entirely possible my BF's new GF googled me as well, and is now lamenting to her girlfriends that BF's other lover is so sexy and curvy while she's so skinny. Yes, it's a minefield for sure!
KittenPuff
New member
Ace doesn't mean we don't have sex. We just don't feel sexual attraction. Plenty of aces have kids. As for being bisexual, asexuals can have romantic feelings (or not) which are described as homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic, etc.
KittenPuff
New member
But, of course, that's been explained already...
(NOTE TO SELF: Read before responding, Kitten. Read before responding.)
(NOTE TO SELF: Read before responding, Kitten. Read before responding.)
KittenPuff
New member
And in regard to my original post, I talked with him about my fears and feelings. We had a good chat and a cuddle. My fear of him loving her is a waxing and waning thing. I'm so programmed to think people only have room for one love at a time, but we all (here) know that's not true of everyone. Of course they can fall in love and do so with my blessing. That's how this works. It doesn't take anything from me; it only adds.
We are going to spend some time all together. She & I want to be friends, or at least acquainted. I think that will help me to know and care about both of them so she's not just a random stranger tied to my life.
We are going to spend some time all together. She & I want to be friends, or at least acquainted. I think that will help me to know and care about both of them so she's not just a random stranger tied to my life.
KittenPuff
New member
We had a great dinner last night--celebrated our 9th anniversary. Right now he's getting ready for his first overnight "date" with her. I want as much time as I can get with him before he spends the night with her because I feel certain that after that happens, the energy will change (for awhile at least) and I won't be as important to him as she will be. Then when that first flush of passion cools a bit, things will balance out. At least, that's what I anticipate. I don't think you can ever really know with these things... I'm wondering if I should have asked to hang out with both of them more before they do this. It's too late to ask now, but whatever happens, happens and everything will be ok. I don't need to over think all this.
BoringGuy
Banned
Just FYI, being asexual doesn't mean unable to have sex. Although many asexuals don't want to have sex because they're repulsed or bored by sex, others are fine with having sex to please a partner or to conceive. Some asexuals do have children in the old fashioned way.
Yes, thank you. I did know that, but it is possible that other people reading this did not know, so that might be helpful to someone out there. I was asking Nancy about herself, not as a spokesperson for all "aces" that ever existed. That said, I don't believe that being "bored" by sex means a person is "asexual." "Celibate" could be used to describe a period of non-sexuality, but doesn't have to equal "asexual," just as being "single" does not equal "celibate" or "asexual."
Why am I qualified to have an opinion about this? Because I went through a period of about 3-4 years where I was not interested in sex and hardly ever even masturbated during that time, because I was on a certain type of hormonal medication that messed up my sex drive. However, I was not "asexual," because I was still intellectually and emotionally "interested" in sex/masturbation (I believe masturbation IS "sex") and just because the PHYSICAL part wasn't manifesting without considerable effort, that didn't make me feel like the word "asexual" applied to me.
But yeah, I do know what causes pregnancy, and that there are other ways to get knocked up besides having PIV sex.
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KittenPuff
New member
When I really stop and think about the way things have been going instead of what I'm afraid of, I realize he has been very attentive to me and very sweet and supportive. It's all just so new and I have no past experience to relate to this. Sent him off this morning to spend a couple days out of town with L, and so far I'm ok. Mostly annoyed that the wifi at the house isn't working and he's not here to fix it so I'm stuck with just my phone for Internet access. Wish I was more tech savvy.
Postalpagan
New member
question for the men from a married man
Hello guys. My main question/problem here is how to meet women genuinely intersted in poly? I find that my wife can find men no problem, as most of you can probably confirm in regards to your own partners, but for me it is an exercise in frustration. Conventional dating sites are no help as being 51 and married puts me (in my observation) at a big disadvantage. An online friend who is divorced and poly told me that she will not talk with any married man on a dating site as she assumes that they are looking for a mistress or on the verge of divorce and lining up the next wife. I can't help but wonder if most women think the same way especially since I have run across women who would talk with me once in a while, but wanted to know if I was getting divorced or said they do not talk with married men, period. I tried ourtime, thinking that 40 and 50 some women might be different, but true to form, profile after profile had "looking for the one/soulmate" in it. I did talk with a couple of women who were married, but it soom became obvious that they were looking to "upgrade" husbands, meaning they were not happy in their marriage and were looking for a man to "rescue" them, in otherwords to give them a reason to file for divorce then remarry. It has been my observation that single women are for the most part too obcessed with finding a husband to consider poly and married women are not allowed to have male friends or as I said looking for a "better" husband. Any advice and experiences would be greatly appreciated.
Hello guys. My main question/problem here is how to meet women genuinely intersted in poly? I find that my wife can find men no problem, as most of you can probably confirm in regards to your own partners, but for me it is an exercise in frustration. Conventional dating sites are no help as being 51 and married puts me (in my observation) at a big disadvantage. An online friend who is divorced and poly told me that she will not talk with any married man on a dating site as she assumes that they are looking for a mistress or on the verge of divorce and lining up the next wife. I can't help but wonder if most women think the same way especially since I have run across women who would talk with me once in a while, but wanted to know if I was getting divorced or said they do not talk with married men, period. I tried ourtime, thinking that 40 and 50 some women might be different, but true to form, profile after profile had "looking for the one/soulmate" in it.
I did talk with a couple of women who were married, but it soom became obvious that they were looking to "upgrade" husbands, meaning they were not happy in their marriage and were looking for a man to "rescue" them, in otherwords to give them a reason to file for divorce then remarry. It has been my observation that single women are for the most part too obcessed with finding a husband to consider poly and married women are not allowed to have male friends or as I said looking for a "better" husband. Any advice and experiences would be greatly appreciated.
KittenPuff
New member
Thank you for this. I see the truth of it now. He is home from his overnight with L and is extra appreciative of me today.
It's all good right now and I worried over nothing. I spent too much time reading the posts from people having problems... I look forward to spending more time with her and getting to know her at least a little bit.