Wow, these forums are full of very useful and relevant information. Let me start out with a little bit of basic info about myself:
I am 28, a mother, a wife, and, as I recently discovered, prefer polyamory. My husband and I have been married since I was 19. I adore him. He is truly my better, more logical and patient half.
We began to explore the swinging lifestyle about 4 years ago, and just recently, in the past couple months, began to explore actually dating other partners and developing relationships. I have always been a more emotional person than my husband, but he is actually the one who found an amazing woman, who I also think is a great match for him, and he laid it all on the table for her.
I have a group of friends that are mostly single, who I play sports with/socialize with, who do not know anything of my personal life and that has always been fine until recently, when this man and I began spending a little bit more time together and he asked me out on a date.
After consulting with my husband, I accepted and it has got to be one of the best dates I have ever been on, even though we weren't doing anything special per se. That being said, we have had two subsequent dates and I really do like this guy, but I am become more confident that he is looking for monogamy and a future I know I can't give him.
My husband says that perhaps I tell him, or break it off, or perhaps I let it run its natural course and he never needs to know. But either way, I know that I will hurt. I am willing to endure the hurt, but I don't want to cause the guy I just began dating more pain than necessary.
I really love spending time with him. He is a very different man from the man I married. This does not make me love my husband any less, but actually helps to make me even happier, much like his relationship.
What to do? Any advice? I wish that this had started differently. I just know from his personality that polyamory was not his cup of tea and that it will be a game-ender. Do I end it now, or wait and see? Do I see if it runs its course, and if it is ongoing in a month or two, bring it up? Do I just end it with a different explanation now? When did things get so confusing!?
The other thing I wanted to mention and ask advice on is this-- poly women, how did you meet men who were more comfortable with this lifestyle choice? I don't want to walk around wearing a sign, and most of the guys who are seeking a poly relationship that I have seen are kind of creepy (no offense).
ADVICE?
I am 28, a mother, a wife, and, as I recently discovered, prefer polyamory. My husband and I have been married since I was 19. I adore him. He is truly my better, more logical and patient half.
We began to explore the swinging lifestyle about 4 years ago, and just recently, in the past couple months, began to explore actually dating other partners and developing relationships. I have always been a more emotional person than my husband, but he is actually the one who found an amazing woman, who I also think is a great match for him, and he laid it all on the table for her.
I have a group of friends that are mostly single, who I play sports with/socialize with, who do not know anything of my personal life and that has always been fine until recently, when this man and I began spending a little bit more time together and he asked me out on a date.
After consulting with my husband, I accepted and it has got to be one of the best dates I have ever been on, even though we weren't doing anything special per se. That being said, we have had two subsequent dates and I really do like this guy, but I am become more confident that he is looking for monogamy and a future I know I can't give him.
My husband says that perhaps I tell him, or break it off, or perhaps I let it run its natural course and he never needs to know. But either way, I know that I will hurt. I am willing to endure the hurt, but I don't want to cause the guy I just began dating more pain than necessary.
I really love spending time with him. He is a very different man from the man I married. This does not make me love my husband any less, but actually helps to make me even happier, much like his relationship.
What to do? Any advice? I wish that this had started differently. I just know from his personality that polyamory was not his cup of tea and that it will be a game-ender. Do I end it now, or wait and see? Do I see if it runs its course, and if it is ongoing in a month or two, bring it up? Do I just end it with a different explanation now? When did things get so confusing!?
The other thing I wanted to mention and ask advice on is this-- poly women, how did you meet men who were more comfortable with this lifestyle choice? I don't want to walk around wearing a sign, and most of the guys who are seeking a poly relationship that I have seen are kind of creepy (no offense).
ADVICE?