Poly and Potential Positive Partners

[Bluebird]

I had a good conversation with PunkRock yesterday morning over text - he told me unequivocally that his issues have nothing to do with my dating right now. He told me, in fact, that he was feeling very appreciative of the fact that my NRE hasn't been leaking all over - normally it does with a new relationship, and I seem to be able to keep things better in check this time around. (Which I have been really working at, so yay!) He isn't stressing over HSV.

I have to be honest and say that I go through phases where I start to feel unsettled about my decision but they don't last long. I really don't want to catch anything. However, I will always choose to face away from fear. I have done lots of reading, and talking with people who actually have herpes. Yes - even ones with shitty symptoms. Of course I am going to live my life not focusing on the most horrible of complications - this is a choice I have made. I am ok with it.

I don't believe either of my husbands are making a choice based on just wanting to make me happy. In the past, they most certainly have made decisions that could be described as such, but this could potentially be a life-long and altering illness. I think we have talked to topic to death now. I believe them.

 

[Bluebird]

Ravenscroft, I believe that is the technical term.

Originally Posted by Bluebird View Post
The more reading I do, the more pissed off I get when I see how people who have it are treated by people who don't have it. And, when 80% of people who do have DONT EVEN KNOW - come on. I feel like the stigma is complete bullshit.

There ya go: not merely bullshit, but completely so.

 

[vinsanity0]

There are risks. Most adults understand that LIFE is full of risks. What's the alternative? Live by yourself in a bubble?

IMNSHO, analysis paralysis is a popular way of pretending to face risk while actually avoiding the taking of chances by perpetually needing more research, or better data, or perfect ideal circumstance.

I offered up those articles on viral shedding in order to maybe poke some holes in working up panic over risks associated with HPV.

You can get HSV from Grandma kissing you on the cheek.

You can get HSV from wiping a toddler's nose.

You can get HSV from sitting on a toilet seat or touching a doorknob.

(How can you be certain your food prepaper isn't shedding? )

If the risk creeps you out, the solution is easy: give up on ever again touching another human being. If someone with whom you're already physically intimate ever touches another person (or a doorknob ), cut them out of your life, immediately & permanently. Keep to yourself. When you absolutely MUST venture out, wear nitryl gloves.

If that sounds too restrictive, then consider the risks, avoid doing anything outright stupid, & move on.

Hopefully you'll get a laugh out of this, but I originally took your post to mean you were one of the alarmists. I'm glad you came back and clarified.