Poly Fell Into My Lap

[Tackleberry]

Hi all,

I'm a married 44yo male with two amazing kids that has recently discovered that my wife of 15 years was a closet poly for the last 1-1/2 years. I can go into more detail, but I think that may be better-suited to another part of the board.

Needless to say, we've gone through a lot over the last few weeks, but we're still together and working things through. The resources I've found here have been VERY helpful. Thank you all for contributing!

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Tackleberry,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It sounds like you are just getting used to the shock of finding out your wife is poly, if there's any way we can help just let us know. I'm glad you have found the site helpful so far. Glad to have you onboard!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

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Welcome aboard!

 

[Al99]

Hi Tackleberry - and welcome to the Forum! We have a number of experienced poly folks here in the Forum, so please do not hesitate to post any specific thoughts or questions that you might have.

if your wife has been secretly involved with someone else during this last year-and-a-half, that was not really poly. Poly, by definition, exists only with the knowledge and consent of all involved. Otherwise, it is just cheating. However, even if that was the case, a transition to polyamory is still possible. Not necessarily easy, but possible.

Best of luck on your journey. We will look forward to hearing more your story as it unfolds. Al

 

[Al99]

I also meant to add that it's great to hear that you found the resources here on the forum helpful. When my wife asked me to open our marriage so that she could explore her resurgent feelings from old college boyfriend, I also came across this forum as I began to research polyamory on the web. The information that I found here was a very important part of my coming to understand and accept poly - and to eventually self identify as poly myself. The quality of the intelligent discussion of polyamory on this forum is extraordinary. Again, we will look forward to you joining the conversation.

 

[Tackleberry]

Al99,

You are absolutely correct that what my wife has done was cheating, but we are working through that and transitioning to something that is closer to actual poly. I'm going to post more details in the Life Stories section because I think it may be more appropriate there.