polys in recovery?


Active member
A spiritual revolution is coming for those who commit the program. A searching and fearless sex inventory is a part of that. For people using sex to self-medicate their emotional problems, mono, infedility, or "poly," the house of cards will fall down and a completely new relationship to how to have intimate relationships awaits. Some monos stay mono. Some polys stay poly. Some will change from one to the other. It's as individual as the Higher Power one sculpts and discovers in their life, and its merit is only measurable in how one's life escapes the psychological chains of addiction.

And it's all good news for polyamorous world when people sort themselves out, if we're really about honesty, integrity, and real love & devotion.

Very well written. Because "rigorous honesty" is sine qua non to Twelve Step Recovery, polyamory - where honesty, knowledge, and consent are central - is particularly well suited to those in Twelve Step Recovery programs. A recovering addict is unlikely to stay sober if he is living a lie by having a secret affair. Polyamory makes such dishonesty unnecessary.

As mentioned in an entry above, AA Co-founder Bill Wilson and his wife, Lois, were almost certainly in a consensually non-monogmaous marriage ("polyamory" was not a word in his lifetime). It is an established historical fact that Bill had at least 2 long term girlfriends (one was provided for in his will) well after AA was founded, and it is almost as well established that Lois knew about it. And, indeed, one would almost certainly find it more plausible that Bill was honest with Lois about his other loves - rather than "having secret affairs" - in contradiction to to the teachings he spent most of a lifetime promoting.

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New member
I'm new to this forum and new to the idea of poly. I recently shared my interest with my wife, who is in a 12 step program too.

I've been in a 12 step church program for many years, and attend weekly. I have never mentioned poly to anyone there. I'm not sure how they would respond to me saying I identify or atlest think I'm poly. I have opened up to many in the 12 step groups about my past abuse and they are very accepting, more than most people in church would be.

that's where I am at so far in this journey.

thank you for letting me share...:)