Tales from the Time Share Wife

I think you are right Evie. Thanks for the advice :)

Last night I ran into this woman I use to date several years ago. She was hanging out at my favorite bar, there to support one of her friends. She looked really great and it turns out that she comes up here a few times a year still from the Little Rock area. She gave me her number and said that we will get together next time she comes up.

It's pretty lucky that I ran into her after all this time. I hadn't planned to go to the bar and only showed up there because I needed a place to charge my phone after Mary disappeared, since my phone was dead and I had no way to contact anyone for a ride.
 
I forgot that his ego doesn't accept criticism anyway. In his mind he's the most perfect and amazing person in the world. lol
 
Now that Sam has finished his play, he feels a lot better that he has a little bit of down time. He, Mary, and I went to the amusement park and had a lot of fun.

I finally got my classes scheduled. I was putting it off because I just don't want to go back, but I will, because I like to finish what I start. I'm changing my schedule at work to ensure that I still have my time with Sam.

I was talking to Sam about getting a better job. He agrees that it makes sense to stay on at our company because 3 of his shifts are 10-hour sleeping shifts. His friend works from home making a lot of money doing inbound calls/customer service. I asked when he was planning on applying and he said after haunted house season. It frustrates me that he complains about money, yet he is willing to wait 3 months to apply for a job so he can work part time/minimum wage at the haunted house for 4 weeks.

I also have concerns about how the haunted house thing would even work. Is he going to switch to 5 day shifts a week, and give up his sleeping shifts so he's available for more nights? Last year he worked 5 days a week and did the haunted house 6 nights a week, giving me 1 night a week. He got sick and was exhausted. He NEEDS 10 hours of sleep a day and he wasn't getting anything near that for all those weeks. I told him last year I didn't want him to over-extend himself again this year. I also worry that he's just going to say the hell with me and work the haunted house the nights that I'm supposed to come over. He has a history of scheduling activities during the nights I'm supposed to come over. For instance, he's going to be in ANOTHER big play. The rehearsals are on my nights, and he doesn't care. In his mind, I should just come over at 10 pm instead of 5 pm.
 
Last night was so much fun. The kids and I were at Sam's. Then Mary and Neeners came over to get me for karaoke. I was braiding Neener's hair. Work wife came over because she was supposed to meet at the karaoke place we normally go to, but it was closed, for some reason. Then Sam came home and we all went to another karaoke place.

Neeners is a special ed teacher. She needs a para for her class and wants Nate to apply, because she pretty much gets to bring in who she wants, since this is a last minute kind of thing. Nate hasn't had a job other than conventions and medical studies in 6 years, so it's pretty cool that he'll be getting out and that we will have extra income too. I think having a job will be good for him because he likes being socia, and I think it will make him feel better about himself. Plus he will get to work with a pretty lady.

My friend Cassy will most likely move in with us. She texted me the other night and asked to come because her boyfriend kicked her out. Nate met her several years ago while waiting in line for a job at the local sex store. We all had a thing for awhile. She's a pretty cool chick, probably the only woman that I'd be willing to live with, because she's like a dude. lol. She used to live with us after she went on a crazy meth bender and needed to get her shit straight. During that time Nate wasn't sleeping with her because he didn't want her feeling like she had to in order to stay with us.

Nate and I are going to Kansas City for the weekend for another convention. That will be fun. I'm hoping that Mary can swing to cost of coming with.
 
Nate and I discussed it, and it wouldn't be a good financial decision for him to get a job, because I would lose my grants for school if he were working.

We had a lot of fun at the convention. I sipped wine throughout the day and that helped with the anxiety I normally feel with that kind of situation. The first day he only made $1 and he was getting very discouraged. I had suggested we come up with some kind of gimmick, since his suggestion for "make your own price" wasn't working. I told him that when people say "Make an offer," I usually don't, because I don't like offending people by low-balling. I told him he should have them roll the dice for the price (like this play house in Chicago does). So the next day by 11 am he hasn't had any sales. He was getting very upset. Then he went and bought the dice. After that, the next two days he had over 50 sales. He made an average of $3.60 per sell, which is fine, considering each print actually cost 33 cents each. He paid for his table, at least.

I feel bad, though. He doesn't care about prints. He made them to make money. His true passion is his comics, but unfortunately it's not a great pull at conventions. So he's pretty much only selling prints, and we are only making back the table fee. He said that he's probably not going to big conventions unless the table is cheap or free, from now on.

We have another convention in a couple weeks. At least this is just a 1 day. I'm thinking that driving 4 hours, being in a convention 8 hours and driving back 4 hours isn't doable. So we are going to have to stay the night. I attempted to get an AirBnB room because it sounds fun. But we were rejected because these people don't book out that far in advance for short-term stays. Turns out it's not any cheaper to do that than to get a hotel room through express deals. But I'd rather support real people, so we'll see if we actually do that.

I haven't been able to see Sam that much. He's been pretty busy with his life and was sick and didn't want me bringing the kid over. I was going to go see his play the other night, but Nate had the car so he could go play games. At first I asked Sam to get me. I suggested he and I go have a drink first, and he agreed. But later he told me that he had promised to watch the play directly before his. So he was unable to get me unless I was willing to go to the other play, which I was not.

That was fine. I was able to do a lot of deep cleaning. I leave the bulk of the housework to Nate because he's a stay-at-home dad, and I pay my teen to clean, but both do a half-assed job. I was beginning to feel very overwhelmed and shitty about the state of our house.

We recycle. We have been keeping it in bins in the kitchen. It's not being dropped off frequently enough, and because of that, it's cluttering up the kitchen. I decided to order recycling service for peace of mind and convenience. My kitchen looks so good. I was also able to throw out some stuff that we don't need or use. The next couple of months I will be purging a lot of stuff.

In my adult life I have never lived anywhere more than 2 years. I'm use to purging when I move and going in with a fresh start. I'm starting to feel really antsy here. A good deep cleaning and purging of the whole house in order.

I had to postpone school until spring semester because these study meds I am on are killing my drive. I have lost my drive. I take them and I turn into a zombie who can barely move. I'm not sleeping well and I veg out all day. I can't think straight. It's making me scatterbrained at work. I decided that there is no way I can take school on my plate right now, when I feel like my home is so out of order.

I'm getting off these meds in another 6 weeks. At that time I will have my energy back and be able to get things in order and actually be able to bike ride like I had planned on doing. Part of the study is you have to agree not to do strenuous activities. I don't think you can even if you wanted to. Just knowing that I will have a few more months to get my shit in order has lifted this huge weight off my chest. I'm an overachiever and I didn't want to do it, but I had to admit when I couldn't take on more.

I told Sam that this October I will back off and only stay the night with him 1 night a week. They are opening up a new place that is way bigger. They are building a room just for him. I doubt they would be happy with him only working there 3 days a week if he's a feature spook. He thanked me for getting the additional time.

This Wed Mary, Nate, and I are driving to KC to pick up Jerry at the airport. I made plans with my friend Craig who we always see when we go up to go to karaoke. I'm hoping our host can come with too.

This week is going to be crazy busy. I'm getting some overtime at work this week and that's good, because I got caught driving 90 in a 65. But they put 84 on the ticket because the cop said that I have a perfect record. I wasn't intentionally speeding. My cruise control was out and we weren't paying attention. Who knew a minivan could go that fast? lol
 
I'm stuck in a medical study, so Nate went and had sex with Terry. I'm surprised, considering she unfriended him and stopped talking to him for several months. She said she didn't want to be someone's fuck buddy, yet she called him over for a booty call. I wish he had more pride. She slut shamed him, and made it out that he was using her for sex, when he'd actually made multiple efforts to hang out with her.

Mary and Jerry had a couple 3-ways with a lesbian Mary met during her stay. I think Mary likes Amber a lot, and that's why she encouraged it. But Jerry got upset and Amber said she could not handle the drama.

I haven't gotten to hang out with Sam much. At the times I wanted to spend with him he chose to hang out with his friends. I'm not going to get to see him until the 31st, other than a brief visit here and there. On the 31st I will be helping him move.

I decided to hire a lawyer to avoid having my ticket on my record.
 
Nate told me today that he told Frida about him and Terry the other night. Frida is sleeping with Terry's fiance, Jim, and apparently Terry was hiding it from Jim, and she got in trouble with him. Nate had no idea that Terry wasn't supposed to have sex with him, as they use to have sex together. He thought Terry had called things off, when it was Jim who didn't want her see him. Terry is no longer allowed to see Nate, even in a friendship capacity. Terry told Nate that she and Jim have been having problems and she thinks Jim is going to break up with her
 
I'm pretty shocked to find out that Terry asked Nate to "fix it" and tell Frida that he didnt have sex with her. Nate told her that he doesn't lie. Wow! I'm sure that Nate is going to be painted as the bad guy somehow because he was involved with a cheater.
 
I finally got an IUD. I had been waiting for my cycle to return, but the meds I took for the medical study messed me up. I had to take large doses of vitamin C to get it started.

I got most of the rooms painted at Sam's and all the stuff has been moved over, except the swing set.

We got Nate's student loans paid off. I plan on giving my son the Volvo and I'll buy a Prius with our tax return.

Nate and I are heading out of town for a convention tomorrow. We get to stay with our friends that we use to date back when we attempted a quad. I love being able to stay with friends when we travel.
 
My oldest has decided to move in with his dad. He'll be turning 17 next month, anyway. He's been living with me since the split 7 years ago. His dad and his wife make 4 times as much as I do, so I think that is a factor in it. (They have a newer house, eat out a lot, have nicer things etc.) He's also aggravated by his little sisters. He says that things over there are much more peaceful, since his dad's house is extremely structured, where my house is not. lol

Now that his room will be empty, the girls will be moving into his room and the girl's room will once again become Nate's office/guest room. Nate has already been telling people that he might not be available for booty calls very often, due to lack of childcare. (He used to do that when I was at work.) He could still go out when I have the kids with me at Sam's house. But usually Nate doesn't like to waste his kid-free time on anyone. I did mention to him that now that he has his own room with a bed that he could technically have people over after the girls are in bed on the nights that I'm gone. And of course he could always go out for a little bit when I'm home. I think he's just not really that interested though and using lack of childcare as an excuse.

Terry and her boyfriend ended up breaking up. She's been asking Nate to come over and see her since she's now a few blocks away. He went over and painted one night, but he's turned her down for sex so far. I think it still bothers him that she treated him like he was just using her for sex or something.

Nate had Deanna over to our house the other week, after not seeing her for 3 months, and had barrier-free sex with her. I guess she doesn't have other lovers and agreed to his terms of not being barrier-free with anyone else. She even referred to her vulva as his pussy. Nate doesn't care if she gets emotionally attached, or feels like going barrier-free means something more than it is, because he's told her that he's not poly and not looking for a romantic relationship. It doesn't really affect me, other than I may have to use condoms with Nate once in awhile, if he wants to have sex with me after he has sex with her.

She still hasn't moved yet. I guess her car blew up (literally caught on fire), so they are down a car and can't afford the move.

Sam is doing well. He's super busy with the haunted house and that means I don't get to see much of him. He agreed to take Sundays off, but then last Sunday when my friend was in from out of town, we were all supposed to go hiking. But it turns out Sam didn't ask for Sunday off and he couldn't go with us, as this was a several hour hike and he wouldn't have been able to make it back in time. Having him consistently not follow through, and putting others before me all the time so he doesn't look like the bad guy really makes me not have a lot of respect for him. Like last week he asked me to work a shift for him and I told him no, because he should have changed his work schedule weeks ago. He also had plenty of time to get the shift covered, but he didn't. I refuse to put myself out for people who choose the situations they get into. I know he may have ADHD, but I've reminded him MULTIPLE times over the last several weeks, and I'm just getting tired of taking care of him. I'm done handling his schedule because it doesn't do any good anyway.
 
So I guess Deanna just told Nate that she may not be able to see him sexually anymore because she may be taken on as a submissive by someone. I guess it was very sudden.

Terry told Nate that she is "ready to see him again," and told him that she wants a set night a week for him to go over. He told her that he wasn't sure about that, because he won't have someone to watch the kids. Then she asked about when I take the kids over to Sam's house, and he told her that it was only once a week (if at all). I haven't even gone over there without the kids since last Nov, so I'm assuming he means that some weeks I don't go over (like when Sam has to work or when Nate and I are out of town). He's once again making me out to be the bad guy here, instead of being honest with her and saying that he doesn't like being obligated to see someone on a schedule.

I went ahead and told Nate that I was fine with him going over and seeing her anytime (now that we won't have someone looking after the girls, I need to change my expectations that he only see people when I'm gone), except on Fridays, which I have requested be our date night (as it is presently). And once it's Nov., Monday will be the night I take kids with me. (Presently it's Sunday, due to Sam's work.)
 
I wrote a note on Fetlife, making it clear that while things used to be one way, that now Nate's welcome to go out anytime he wants to when i'm home, except on our date night, and that if he chooses not to, it's not because of me. That way he can no longer blame me. He just needs to be honest with people about the fact that he doesn't like obligations.

I feel really bad for Terry. She asked Nate if he thought she was pretty, and he said, "I'm not shallow." It's nice that he's not a liar and all, but what harm would it be to say he thinks she's pretty?
 
I think I'm done with poly. The pleasure isn't worth the pain, and I just want a simple life. I need to focus on my home, kids, and self. I don't have time for anyone else.
 
According to Sam, we aren't really broken up-- he's just playing along. I flat out told him I do not want more kids and that I will not have a kid to keep him.
 
Inyourendo said:
According to Sam, we aren't really broken up-- he's just playing along. I flat out told him I do not want more kids and that I will not have a kid to keep him.
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Good for you!
 
Nox said:
Good for you!
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I guess the plan is he'll eventually find a girlfriend. I figure once he moves somebody in with him, then we will stop seeing each other, since we will no longer have a place to spend the night together that point. Plus he's monogamous. I don't really think he can handle being with somebody else and then still having any kind of feelings for me.
 
This also takes the pressure off me, because I won't be expected to give him equal time, especially when I have so much other stuff going on that I have to take care of.
 
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