Talking to kids

A

Anakalia

New member
Hey all,

I'm currently in a triad of 5 years and recently we've decided to open our relationship and see other people. We have 5 kids (4 are my bio kids, 1 is my partners') between the ages of 10-17, and they are very perceptive. :)

They obviously know about the triad (we all live in the same house), but don't know we are seeing other people.

Has anyone navigated this before and maybe have some words of wisdom? I can't decide if we should tell the kids or not, but I'm also a little worried that they'll just figure it out on their own anyways.

Of course there's also the added complexity of an ex who likes to fight for custody on ridiculous grounds (like our current relationship), so I'm fairly nervous about information leaking to him. Ugh.

Thanks,
A
 
Hello Anakalia,

The difficulty as I see it is that kids do tend to notice things if they are not informed, and then what if they said something to your ex. It's probably better if you tell them, so at least they won't be passing on incorrect information and you will have a united front. I'm just wondering, are they handling the knowledge of your poly pretty well so far? It might affect what to say to them and under what circumstances.

Tricky situation, I hope things work out.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
Our kids were not upset in the least when we told them. TxGirl's daughter was, in fact, very relieved to know it was all honest and open and that no secrets were being hidden.

At a poly seminar given by Elisabeth Sheff, I asked if she had seen negative reactions from kids. She said the only issues she has encountered is when they are asked to lie about it; either to parents or extended family.
 
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