Neurodiverse
New member
Hi there,
I thought I should introduce myself, as a "newbie." I have just come out of a 25-year relationship with the mother of my two teenage children. I now find myself on a very friendly basis with my housemate. She is a lovely woman, and very courageous, having suffered many traumas in her life.
While we are "friends with benefits," she is wary of committing to another monogamous relationship. The truth is, so am I, but like my housemate, I am far from ready to give in to a life of celibacy when I love touch so much.
For many years, I have had doubts about the way we, as a society, do business. Traditional relationships are isolating, and create enormous pressures on parents. Children have few positive role models who are genuinely safe to be around.
I really love my housemate very much, and see her as one of the most admirable people I have ever met.
She says she wants independence and freedom, and my gut feeling is that the best way to maintain a positive relationship between us is by accepting that and embracing that way of living-- to create space for her.
Despite all this superficially "racy" behaviour, I place a high value on ethical behaviour. I am a serious practicing Buddhist, but like many of my generation, I am starting to grasp that the strictures around sexual behaviour in Buddhism really amount to "not causing harm to another through my sexual conduct," i.e., not transmitting STDS, not deceiving anyone, and not holding myself out to be ready for a committed solo relationship when I am not.
That end of things is easy enough-- but there is always the issue of whether my partner/co-respondent is able to grasp and handle this. So I am interested to hear how any of you handle this.
The really odd thing is that at the age of 51, my sex drive is higher than ever.
I thought I should introduce myself, as a "newbie." I have just come out of a 25-year relationship with the mother of my two teenage children. I now find myself on a very friendly basis with my housemate. She is a lovely woman, and very courageous, having suffered many traumas in her life.
While we are "friends with benefits," she is wary of committing to another monogamous relationship. The truth is, so am I, but like my housemate, I am far from ready to give in to a life of celibacy when I love touch so much.
For many years, I have had doubts about the way we, as a society, do business. Traditional relationships are isolating, and create enormous pressures on parents. Children have few positive role models who are genuinely safe to be around.
I really love my housemate very much, and see her as one of the most admirable people I have ever met.
She says she wants independence and freedom, and my gut feeling is that the best way to maintain a positive relationship between us is by accepting that and embracing that way of living-- to create space for her.
Despite all this superficially "racy" behaviour, I place a high value on ethical behaviour. I am a serious practicing Buddhist, but like many of my generation, I am starting to grasp that the strictures around sexual behaviour in Buddhism really amount to "not causing harm to another through my sexual conduct," i.e., not transmitting STDS, not deceiving anyone, and not holding myself out to be ready for a committed solo relationship when I am not.
That end of things is easy enough-- but there is always the issue of whether my partner/co-respondent is able to grasp and handle this. So I am interested to hear how any of you handle this.
The really odd thing is that at the age of 51, my sex drive is higher than ever.
You honestly seem to have a very clear head about all of this. Just from what you've indicated so far. .... such as understanding that polyfidelity can be where everyone has degrees of interaction, but doesn't necessarily mean everyone has to have the SAME same relationship, nor has to be intimate. 