This May Be a Stupid Question...

[FallenAngelina]

.....people love to talk about themselves. You can get people to think you're an excellent conversationalist just by learning how to get people talking about themselves. They won't even realize you're not talking.

THIS THIS THIS !!!!!!

I am not a chitty chatty person, but I am very social. I sometimes go to private swing parties and there is always a social hour or two beforehand which is much more challenging to me than the party party part. The secret to being social is in being genuinely interested in the people. I don't ever ask people what they do for a living unless the convo has naturally turned that way. That's a stock question that pretty much says, "I don't really care, but have no idea what else to say to you." I ask things that lead to more personal discussion like how they found out about the party or who they came with. I joke about the situation ("Can you believe we're making naked small talk? Haha") My focus is always learning about the people there because I'm truly interested and because it really helps to keep my thoughts off of concern over being judged. In my experience, that's usually what is behind shyness - fear of being judged. Taking an honest interest in the other people goes a very long way toward keeping my energy pointed outward in a positive way rather than turning it inward in a not-so-good feeling way. It also helps when the party party gets going. I feel much more at ease about sidling up to people I've already spoken with than going up cold to potential partners.

.... I get to be the woman I WANT to be, without fear and without second-guessing or thinking about how fucked-up I am, and it's beginning to carry over into the rest of my life.

This is one reason that I participate in the swing parties. I get to be the kind of woman that I imagine myself to be (enticingly sensual, confident, warm, welcoming, desired, joyful, expressive, adventuresome) and this does carry over to the rest of my life. For the most part, I enjoy the fluid group of regulars that attend and have made a few truly good friends. At some parties, I'm there mostly for the kissing and the naked conversation. It's been great for me to develop my sense of my sexual self in this semi-public way, so much so that I can fully choose whether to dive in or whether to have a more conversational evening. I also find it fascinating, reassuring and informative to be around other people who are having sex. What a unique opportunity. I am especially inspired by the women and learning from their unabashed delight in having an outrageous, satisfying and positive sexual experience.

...the people at this club overall are extremely friendly and supportive. .... I never hear anyone saying anything negative about others' interests or appearance. I *do* hear a ton of compliments, to me and to others, and body positivity and sex positivity reign supreme there

This is my experience, as well.

 

[KC43]

There isn't naked conversation at the one I go to...usually. LOL. And most of the time, sex is happening in rooms that either have doors or have curtains you can pull closed so you aren't being watched. If you want to be watched, they have a specific space for that. (Or you can invite spectators into the room you're using.)