Thought things were fine, now I realize they aren't...

B

BaconWrappedCupcakes

New member
Hello again. I posted a few months ago about meeting my BF Jesse's other GF Blossom, and the meeting went well. I am mono with Jesse. Blossom is poly with him and others.

She and I exchanged emails for a while, but she kept bring Jesse into the conversation, which I tried to steer away from. I don't feel comfortable discussing him with her. We stopped writing each other about a month or two after the lunch. I had told Jesse that I didn't feel comfortable with the over-abundance of info she kept giving me and how I felt overwhelmed.

I thought he communicated this to her and everything was fine. I have found out recently that she in fact hates me and thinks I have ruined their relationship. She is convinced that I want him for myself, even though that is not true.

I do want a LTR, but I know it will not be with him. I enjoy what he and I have, for what it is. He provides me with something I need in my life, so being mono with his poly was not that difficult for me.

I've read articles on polyamory, bought a book, and try to be open-minded about it all, even though it is not something I could have in my own life. The times she sent poly stuff to me, I wasn't sure what to say, because I didn't really agree with the statements.

I'm not sure what to do at this point, as, I like an idiot, I was thinking Blossom was okay with things as they were, but now I come to find out she thinks I'm a giant bitchface and hates me. I'm mad at Jesse too, for not telling me this was how she felt, as I could have told her the truth instead of her making it up in her own mind.

I'm confused, hurt, and afraid that he will leave me to try and make her happy. He assures me that won't happen, though.

Thanks for the help.
 
I came back to read this since you mentioned this in your other thread. It seems like your thoughts and wants weren't respected from the beginning and that Jesse wasn't completely honest with you OR Blossom. And that really sucks. I'm sorry that something like CondomGate had to happen before you could break ties.

I hope your lunch goes really well.
 
Blossom had decided to assume many things about me because Jesse wasn't communicating the truth, or sometimes anything at all to her. On the few occasions he did tell her the truth about something, she didn't believe him and chose to write lies and twist stories.

She and I have not written since February. I stopped writing because it was getting to be too much with my home life and Jesse. Adding her into the mix wasn't helping. I told him this, and expected him to tell her I was having a hard time, and he didn't.

6 months went by where I felt him back off from me, calling and writing less. She started posting sad comments and pictures on her page. I even wrote him and asked if she were ok, and he said "Yes, she is fine." So I continued to try my best to connect with him.

Then I found posts of hers (under an anonymous name) while I was searching a poly-themed board for info. I was blown away. By this time, they had downgraded their relationship and no longer did D/s play. She made fun of my pictures, called me names, blamed me for things that I had nothing to do with.

I confronted Jesse about this. We had a long talk about what she said. I let it go, because they are just words, and it's not worth harboring bad feelings when they aren't true anyway. He did not talk to her about her postings then.

I continued to watch the thread and that's when I found out about "condom gate" (HAHAHA). He immediately wrote her and told her to stop talking online about his relationships with her and me, and the things that go on between all of us.

She then posted "Stalker Stalker" on her wall before blocking me. (But the ID she used wasn't her own, anyway, so blocking me made no sense.) Anyway, about 4 days later, she writes 2 more stories with intimate details, about him and her and their sex life, and posts them on there.

So, obviously, she has no respect for keeping their business between them. I find it funny, though. She has 3 other men she sees, but she only ever posts personal sex stories that involve Jesse.

Ugh! It's entirely too much drama. I have chosen to leave that site because I won't be pulled into it anymore.
 
Crazy with side of crazy

Bacon,

I just read this thread and your other thread about safe sex issues. I have a question for you. Why are you involved with these people?

I realize you are not directly involved with Blossom. She's not quite right, and she's mean, to boot. Jesse is lying and manipulative and has broken your trust repeatedly. Those patterns are not going to change.

I realize you've been with him for a while and love him. That's nice. But love is not enough. You also deserve respect and trust and honesty. Those are definitely not present in this relationship.

Your identity as a sub does not absolve you of the responsibility to take care of yourself, and to be the best "you" possible.

I beg you, leave. Go find safe, sane, trustworthy partners. They are out there.

Opalescent

P.S. Your username is distracting! I keep thinking "HMMMMM YUMMY!!!" to myself when I read it.
 
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Yes, you can love a total asshole, but that doesn't stop him from being an asshole. There is love all around; it's not so precious and unattainable that you have to keep going back to give it to someone who doesn't respect or deserve it.

I took a look at your first thread here. It seems Jesse was disrespectful of you from the start. Blossom wanted to meet you, and you were reluctant, because poly was so new to you. You wanted time to consider it and prepare to meet her. He told you that it wasn't a "big deal."

Basically, from what you told us, he put you down for whatever you were feeling. Dismissed you. You were made to feel like shit by both him and her, and pressured to move more quickly than you were ready for. So, this seems to be a pattern that has been there a while.

What could you possibly get out of being with someone who disregards your feelings, lies to you, and doesn't give a shit about your safety? He obviously does not think very much of you, or maybe women in general, I am sorry to say.
 
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