Triangular model of love.

F

ffcep2

New member
Hello everyone,

I am writing a paper about Robert Sternberg’s theory The Triangular Model of Love and how it can relate to the ploy community and I am looking for thoughts. For those who do not know what this theory is I will explain. This love triangle involves 3 components. The first is intimacy and refers to a couples closeness, to their mutual concern of feelings and resources. The second is passion and refers to romance and sexual feelings. The third is commitment and is deciding to enhance and maintain an enduring relationship. The theory also states that passion is most crucial in short term relationships where as intimacy and commitment is more important in enduring relationships. The ideal love is consummate love and it combines all three. The theory is based on a mono relationship. So thoughts?
 
I wouldn't say the Triangular Model is specific to mono relationships, more that it focuses on how two people interact. Which, even with group relationships, there's a lot of two-person interactions within them. Companionate love can describe friendship, and empty love could describe the parent-child dynamic. It can apply to any human interactions that involve deep attachments.

Like many psychological models and theories, it's a basic set of descriptions for a complex set of occurances.
 
I agree with Kommander. I didn't read this theory as being necessarily mono. It describes loves of all kinds. In fact, when I began learning about this theory it helped me work through my own mono-based socializing around love. It helped me break down the idea that I have to love certain people in certain ways. I have friendship, infatuation, romantic love, companionate love, all kinds of love with various people in my life.

The one main difference between my own way of thinking is that I believe that no one love is more valuable than another. My mom's not more valuable than my dad, my sexual partner is not more valuable than my best friend, my new crush is not more valuable than my brother. The triangle theory says that consummate love is the most valuable but I disagree.

I like the different ways of describing love that the theory provides. But ultimately the labels and boxes we put ourselves in limit us, despite providing comfort.
 
Kommander nailed it.

I am familiar with the theory, we studied it in social psychology.

The thing to understand in regards to poly is that EACH duo has a relationship of their own. Even in a triad, there is a relationship between each duo AND the relationship of all three.

The following link does a great job of explaining the "poly math" involved as you add people to the dynamic. It doesn't change that there is ALWAYS a relationship of some sort (even if it is completely ignoring someone's existence) between each duo involved. Regardless of whether or not there is any romance between them. (and children count as well)
http://www.serolynne.com/poly_complex.htm
 
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