What Can I Do?

Have you tried suggesting seeing a poly-friendly counselor? Especially if your GF is cool with you moving slowly it might be a way for your wife to have time to learn a few skills in communication and learn ways to deal with insecurity.

Good luck!
 
UniverseFan said:
I think if she were having more success in her own poly life - she might feel a better balance as well, and less uneasy.
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This is a common, though rather nonsensical, stance many people take. "It's okay for you as long as I've got mine." That thinking makes poly a competition or race.

Amazing personal growth and a sense of well-being can happen when one is okay with and accepting of their partner having other relationships regardless of whether they have someone else or not. I think that focusing on getting her someone to date just to make her feel better would be quite the wrong approach. She needs to do what she can to feel good within herself, no matter what her external circumstances are, or what you're up to.
 
I agree completely, and thankfully I've grown to the point where I could be supportive whether I was actively pursuing other relationships or not.

I wasn't suggesting that finding my wife a connection is a proper solution to her difficulties. However, I do think that her current lack of success in her poly life is an aggravating factor and is contributing to her frustration. I know she is actually jealous, not of my girlfriend, but of the success and enjoyment I'm having, even though, again, she does not want a local connection.

My wife has spent the past few days trying to re-center herself, to find the happiness that exists in her daily life, to simplify things and try to remove distractions. She's doing well. Hopefully, once she has calmed her soul, we can have some conversations that can lead to more growth and comfort, and determine what is possible.
 
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