What kind of physical touch do you like in a loving relationship(s)?~

What kind of physical touch do you like in a loving relationship(s)?~

  • Holding arms.~

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    18

ColorsWolf

New member
Great responses, every one!~ ^_^

I wish I could edit my poll to include the previously mentioned changes.~

Oh well.~

^_^

Love,

ColorsWolf
 

InsaneMystic

New member
Someone who wanted distance all the time probably has some sort of traumatic past, aren't neurotypical and/or have sensory issues.
Eh, I won't hazard a guess at the overall probability, but that does describe me, personally, well enough. *shrug*
 

opalescent

Active member
*Checks the 'bubble' option*

I am very particular about who touches me, and who I touch, and when. I have strong boundaries around touch. It's something I need but I am careful about how that need gets met. For instance, I really dislike hugging someone I just met. I can tolerate it as most huggy people mean no harm. It takes a while for me to build enough trust and intimacy with someone to want to hug them, and be hugged in return. But once someone is in that circle, then I do want them to touch me and vice versa.

For me, there is a difference between touch between friends and touch between romantic partners. And there is a difference between touch that is appropriate in public and touch that is appropriate in private. I value privacy. I need privacy to build intimacy. Touch is one way I develop intimacy with someone - it's just not my first instinct. (It is Whip's first impulse. Whenever one of us is upset, or both, he wants to be in contact.) And I generally prefer to touch in private, even if it is non-sexual in nature. (Exceptions exist for more 'mobile' touching - I do like holding hands in public. However, my partners are generally much taller than me, with different gaits. Holding hands gets awkward after a while.

And I know from experiences in my own life that some people whose 'love language' is touch find me rejecting and difficult to figure out. Usually once I explain I am not rejecting *them* but I have a different timetable to physical intimacy (I am also a very slow cuddler. It's taken me years to get comfortable about cuddling with dear friends.) and that I don't begin with touch to build intimacy.
 

Oldpolyman

New member
If I can make a generalization, in my experience, how you express love and affection depends on your age and personal comfort (which might be the same thing).
When we were young and had a lot more energy, we had a hard time keeping our hands off (and clothes on too) each other. These days, as we are a lot older, simple acts, like holding hands, becomes tremendously meaningful. Oh yes we love sex, but it's not as important as it once was.
Hugs
;)
 

ColorsWolf

New member
If I can make a generalization, in my experience, how you express love and affection depends on your age and personal comfort (which might be the same thing).
When we were young and had a lot more energy, we had a hard time keeping our hands off (and clothes on too) each other. These days, as we are a lot older, simple acts, like holding hands, becomes tremendously meaningful. Oh yes we love sex, but it's not as important as it once was.
Hugs
;)

Why should we keep our clothes on at any age?~ When you take off your clothes you are just 'you', the "sexual" part happens in the mind and it's not inherent to "existing" as 'you', it's a cultural thing.~
 

Rayne

New member
If im not romantically involved with someone (have a sexual relationship) I do not like to be touched at all. I know a lot of people who are touchy feely with their friends but I am not

^^^^ this is how I am too. I usually can't get enough cuddling when I am involved with someone. It sux!
 
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