I'm new to the message boards and think that the way this started might be a little different than a lot of the threads I have read.
My wife has a single female friend who she has known for more than 10 years. I met her once 8 years ago, just before we got married. Since then she has come to visit us one time, about six months ago, and we visited her within the last month. She lives in Hawaii and we live in Wisconsin.
I made a real connection with her when she came to visit. There was total chemistry and my wife is convinced she was really interested in me. My wife has had a 'secret' crush on her for many years. They hand-write letters to each other, talk on the phone regularly, and keep in touch very well.
After she left last October, I spent many weeks trying to 'get over' this friend of my wife. My wife was not jealous or upset, but actually kind of amused at my feelings toward her friend.
Most recently, we flew to Hawaii and spent a long weekend with her. It all picked up where it left off from the last time we saw her, except that both my wife and I ended up having sexual encounters with her. The first night my wife went to lay down after drinking a little too much, and her friend and I were hanging out together, and an innocent back rub turned into making out, then (really good) sex. Before the sex, we checked in on my wife who didn't feel good, but said she loved the idea of us being intimate.
The next night, while I was watching TV, I heard some interesting sounds. I investigated and found my wife and her friend having a sexual adventure of their own.
We had to come back to real life, unfortunately. I haven't eaten in three days because my stomach is in knots. My wife has filled pages of a journal with thoughts about how she can be in love with somebody in addition to me. She had never been with another woman before. We are very secure in our marriage and wondering how a non-traditional relationship will affect our life. Of course, we have no idea what she (wife's friend) thinks of the relationship...she's been unavailable for the past several days since we returned.
Neither one of us has even considered this type of relationship until now. We're not swingers or into sex with strangers or anything...we're both totally surprised by what happened, but we both have heavy hearts because we live so far away from her.
So, I don't have any real questions in general; I needed a place where I can explain the situation to an understanding community. But, I'm open to any advice as well. Has anybody ever been in this type of situation where an existing couple is in love with a third person?
My wife has a single female friend who she has known for more than 10 years. I met her once 8 years ago, just before we got married. Since then she has come to visit us one time, about six months ago, and we visited her within the last month. She lives in Hawaii and we live in Wisconsin.
I made a real connection with her when she came to visit. There was total chemistry and my wife is convinced she was really interested in me. My wife has had a 'secret' crush on her for many years. They hand-write letters to each other, talk on the phone regularly, and keep in touch very well.
After she left last October, I spent many weeks trying to 'get over' this friend of my wife. My wife was not jealous or upset, but actually kind of amused at my feelings toward her friend.
Most recently, we flew to Hawaii and spent a long weekend with her. It all picked up where it left off from the last time we saw her, except that both my wife and I ended up having sexual encounters with her. The first night my wife went to lay down after drinking a little too much, and her friend and I were hanging out together, and an innocent back rub turned into making out, then (really good) sex. Before the sex, we checked in on my wife who didn't feel good, but said she loved the idea of us being intimate.
The next night, while I was watching TV, I heard some interesting sounds. I investigated and found my wife and her friend having a sexual adventure of their own.
We had to come back to real life, unfortunately. I haven't eaten in three days because my stomach is in knots. My wife has filled pages of a journal with thoughts about how she can be in love with somebody in addition to me. She had never been with another woman before. We are very secure in our marriage and wondering how a non-traditional relationship will affect our life. Of course, we have no idea what she (wife's friend) thinks of the relationship...she's been unavailable for the past several days since we returned.
Neither one of us has even considered this type of relationship until now. We're not swingers or into sex with strangers or anything...we're both totally surprised by what happened, but we both have heavy hearts because we live so far away from her.
So, I don't have any real questions in general; I needed a place where I can explain the situation to an understanding community. But, I'm open to any advice as well. Has anybody ever been in this type of situation where an existing couple is in love with a third person?
