Telling someone I'm poly and the problems that brings...

[Legion]

When to declare your "poly" status or any other personal info always seems like a play it by ear sort of thing for me. I usually tell people I'm poly pretty quick, and a lot of times it's not even because I'm interested in the person (romantically) I'm having the convo with. It's because it's an interesting subject and I'm all about informing more and more people so they don't get the wrong idea about me or about polyamory as I see it.

I lived in a small town where I was the only "poly" person most people knew. I'm now in a (more liberal) town where I have heard of maybe another dozen or so. I see being poly now as similar to being gay maybe 30 years ago. Not so much with the violence and hate crimes, but with the misunderstanding, misinformation and prejudices.

Roly, you do as you like, I understand the pressures of a small town. I myself am somewhat reserved in "outing" myself in the firehouse venue though I'm not completely close lipped. I believe in showing people that the traditional way is not the only way, through the forthrighteousness of my own actions. If no one knows who the poly people are, how do they know how a poly person is?

 

[rolypoly]

Roly, you do as you like, I understand the pressures of a small town. I myself am somewhat reserved in "outing" myself in the firehouse venue though I'm not completely close lipped.

The firehouse venue? Is that where you work? Or is this an expression I'm not familiar with? Thanks for the encouragement.

If no one knows who the poly people are, how do they know how a poly person is?

Good point!

I see being poly now as similar to being gay maybe 30 years ago. Not so much with the violence and hate crimes, but with the misunderstanding, misinformation and prejudices.

I was thinking exactly this today. Coming out as bisexual wasn't a big deal. In fact, at the time it was even "trendy". But poly? As far as social acceptance, it's still way back in the dark ages. People have gotten over the fear of homosexuality and the rediculous stereotypes. For example, watch out if you're a man because all gay men will want you, etc...

But with poly, at least in my little world that is still full of apprehension about coming out, there are similar stereotypes that are difficult to face.

 

[Ttree]

Can't you just say "open relationship"? (Genuine question)
Or just don't tell him/her upfront and have a good chat, and if he/she wants to add you on Fb they will see "open relationship" after they add you?
That's what I'd do...