Equal love?
- Thread starter SEcondary
- Start date
I think you might be confusing the fading of love to the natural ebb and flow of a long-term relationship. Once you get past the NRE aspect of a relationship, there comes ebb and flow. There are lots of factors there. life being the biggest one.
My primary is my husband. He knows it's not because i love him more. I, like some others, can't quantify love. I love. Period. The best I can do is learn to not let myself get carried away to the point of letting myself be a doormat for love. Yet, that's my issue, not loves.
My husband is my primary because we have been together twenty years, have intermingled our lives that long, our plans, our children, our house, our future plans, all intermingled in a way that no other relationship is. Does that mean no other relationship ever will? Who knows? But it would sure take a long time!
Do I at times have more ebb than flow with hubby or bf? Sure, but that doesn't mean I love one more than the other! It typically means that I get to wanting to curl up in their laps, want to jump their bones, or just make sure to spend more time together. It ebbs and flows. Sometimes I'm just tired, they are tired, we are sick, busy, worn out, kids, jobs life!
Another thing is that you put a lot of emphasis on whether or not she wants a dick more or less than another and the size of it. You know what works for you works for you but that is not how it is for everyone. Who I want more, physically or emotionally, has never had anything to do with who's dick is bigger or who I enjoy having sex with more than the other. Probably because for me who I enjoy having sex with is more dependent on things like NRE, hormones, and other factors rather than the size of their cock.
(If I want a specific size, I can freakin' buy it. I prefer who's attached to the cock itself. Silly me.)
I can see some of what you are saying. It's not the same for everyone. We found out my wife needs to love someone else. It started out as just sex 10 years ago. She needs this, and someone well hung. Mine wasn't big enough for her after she had sex with someone bigger. She also needs good chemistry, and attraction, someone who treats her well, and wants to be with her in a non-sexual way also.
For the fun of it searched for the topic of "I love my boyfriend more than my husband." Plenty of pages. Many women saying I'm in the same situation as you. I realize everyone is different. But some women love some men more than others, and I have talked to some women who agree with that.
My wife and I are very open. I have to be the must important person in her life and I know I am. I have been married before and I know the difference. It shows and I can feel it. My wife and I love it this way.
BoringGuy
Banned
Here are a couple of threads from a guy who is also obsessed with his girlfriend's other partners' dicks, as well as all sorts of other things:
Do you like knowing what your partner likes about their other partner?
Not supposed to compare ourselves, but...
Enjoy!
Do you like knowing what your partner likes about their other partner?
Not supposed to compare ourselves, but...
Enjoy!
BoringGuy
Banned
I think it's totally fine that SEcondary is turned on by his wife being with this big-dicked guy. I hear this is actually a thing. What I disagree with is that this proves, or lends anecdotal credibility, to whether or not love is equal.
I think it's fine too. I'm just not sure why he needs us to keep feeding him examples of women who love their new boyfriends more than their husbands, just so he can keep getting off on it. He clearly has no desire for the conversation to be about the topic of love being equal or not. Despite the responses given, he is choosing to insist they do quantify love, rather than acknowledge that loves can be different without being more or less. Accepting that premise, I'd say if he's anywhere near as one-track focused with her as he is with us, her behavior indicates she loves him more.
BoringGuy
Banned
+1
I think it's totally fine that SEcondary is turned on by his wife being with this big-dicked guy. I hear this is actually a thing. What I disagree with is that this proves, or lends anecdotal credibility to, whether or not love is equal.
You are the one focused on big dicks. I am just stating how it is. Since she fell in love with some else, it's been about love, not sex. All I did is mention what she needed. And Boring Guy keeps bringing it up. Perhaps he is obsessed with big dicks. I have posted on another forum about wife sharing, and most women prefer big dicks. So get over it.
If you think a big dick should or can be separated from this, please tell how to remove it from him it without causing him any pain.
It's funny how a person can read many stories about a husband or wife dealing with loving another person more than their spouse, but a couple of people on here deny it can be that way. Talk about ROLLING ONE'S EYES. All those people are imagining things and you two are right. Kind of unbelievable. Even marriage consolers are involved in some of the conversations. But what would they know about it?
I post on here because I'm very interested in poly relationships. I have posted on a wife-sharing forum for many years. People show interest. Are helpful. I have never had anyone respond to me like a couple of you have. I'm not here because I have problems, but obviously a couple of you are.
Here are a couple of threads from a guy who is also obsessed with his girlfriend's other partners' dicks, as well as all sorts of other things:
Do you like knowing what your partner likes about their other partner?
Not supposed to compare ourselves, but...
Enjoy!
There you go again. You know right where to find them.
BoringGuy
Banned
Yeah, I already admitted I have a thing for big dicks. Why can't you?
I'm not the one starting threads about "equal love," and bringing up how my wife loves her boyfriend more sexually because he's "well hung," among other things. I posted a well-thought-out, on-topic post right away in this thread that had nothing to do with your wife or her boyfriend's dick. You keep bringing it up, then flipping your britches when someone points it out. Anyone can read your posting history and see for themselves. Maybe you should read them and see for yourself, because I don't think you realize it.
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Vixtoria
New member
Okay, SEcondary, calm down. No one is saying that you need to physically separate a man from his dick.
For some people, the size of a dick isn't an issue. Obviously, and yep, I'm saying obviously, it is for you guys. Why? Because of the way you present it. It's not 'My wife fell for this other guy and I enjoy the idea of her having sex with him.' You always mention how he has a bigger dick, how she likes bigger dicks, how you like hearing he has a bigger dick. The point is, we get it. For her, a bigger dick is a priority in a relationship. For you, hearing that the other man has a bigger dick is important.
It's not for everyone else. Why do you feel the need to always bring up the bigger dick part? (Guess what? Not all women prefer a bigger dick and/or feel it's a priority or necessity.) Why do you get upset when people tell you that they know it's important to you, but not to them?
No one is saying there's something wrong with it. No one is invalidating it. We just don't see that it's the same for everyone.
It would be the same if I mentioned that a person has to have talents for me to get turned on, that for me, hearing them sing a song at perfect pitch, or watching them nail a dramatic piece, makes me want to jump them. So I tell you that, then mention that a lot of women feel that way. That there's nothing wrong with it. That people need to stop getting upset about it. It's just the way it is. Yeah, for me; not for everyone else.
For some people, the size of a dick isn't an issue. Obviously, and yep, I'm saying obviously, it is for you guys. Why? Because of the way you present it. It's not 'My wife fell for this other guy and I enjoy the idea of her having sex with him.' You always mention how he has a bigger dick, how she likes bigger dicks, how you like hearing he has a bigger dick. The point is, we get it. For her, a bigger dick is a priority in a relationship. For you, hearing that the other man has a bigger dick is important.
It's not for everyone else. Why do you feel the need to always bring up the bigger dick part? (Guess what? Not all women prefer a bigger dick and/or feel it's a priority or necessity.) Why do you get upset when people tell you that they know it's important to you, but not to them?
No one is saying there's something wrong with it. No one is invalidating it. We just don't see that it's the same for everyone.
It would be the same if I mentioned that a person has to have talents for me to get turned on, that for me, hearing them sing a song at perfect pitch, or watching them nail a dramatic piece, makes me want to jump them. So I tell you that, then mention that a lot of women feel that way. That there's nothing wrong with it. That people need to stop getting upset about it. It's just the way it is. Yeah, for me; not for everyone else.
That is because they also have interest in cuckoldry/hotwifing. This site here is for polyamory, and most of the time, we aren't comparing dick size and getting off on talking about it!
I am glad you are happy, but if you came here to get off on talking about how it's so fun to be the beta/cuck, you might be in the wrong place. But I do wish you well if you continue to post!
On this thread, this is the eighth time you have brought up dick. I have talked about it four times-- three times in response to someone's comment or question, once to explain what my wife needed. When she's in a relationship she needs all of the person. Maybe you can't relate because you just need your partner's arm or leg. Different strokes for different folks.
I have talked about dick size three times in response to someone else's question or comment. Once to explain what my wife needed.
Beta, no. Compersion, yes. I do know what the site is for. Some on here think it's for dick size, and it's not me. Count the times it is brought up and who is bringing it up. Even you did.
IndieSolo
Active member
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