pinkbugbee
New member
Sigh, I have no idea where to start, or if there is even a starting line. So I will start with SO and I first experience with someone in our relationship. It was in October of last year, after a friends wedding, where SO and I ran into a co-worker of his. She seemed really fun and interesting
Fast Forwarding--> The three of us hooked up and it started having feelings for each other, however I started to notice that her feelings for me where not the same as my feelings for her. In turn, SO and her were really into each other, but the both kept trying to reassure me that feelings were the mutual all around. When I mentioned to my SO what I had been feeling, that I felt like he was giving her more attention, I felt that the where both going to hit it off and leave me out of the loop, that I felt like I was interested in her but she didn't feel the same, the list goes on, he convinced me that it was not true.
Around Christmas time of last year, she comes to us both and tells us that she did in fact had more feelings for him, not the same feelings for me and wanted to end it so we all did. Should have been the end right? For some odd reason, I felt like it wasn't, and come to find out, SO has been seeing her, without my knowledge, while the three of us were together as well as when we called it off. Emotionally and psychically. I also found out that she did in fact have a hidden agenda to break the two f us up.
I was very very hurt. But we have a one year old , and breaking it up didn't seem like the right option. I honestly to believe that he got caught up in the fantasy and the newness, but when I mentioned to him all of my feelings and some warning signs about her, I felt ignored and like he was really trying to push this relationship on me.
Now, a month ago we got into the discussion of trying poly again, and I told him flat out NO. Not because I wasn't interested, I am Bi-sexually and would love to have another female or couple enter our relationship, but because for some reason I don't trust him in that aspect, or still have this feeling that he will leave me or become less interested in me once he is with the other woman, as well as other intense emotion that I have no idea on how to deal with. I know he has even wanted to do a poly triad, but I have not idea how to deal with that. One of the reasons is that I feel like he would find someone before me and I would be stuck not having as much fun, I am not a very social person though I try and I am not very good and starting relationships or any kind
I have even talked to him about how he felt about me [when we had our poly discussion during the time that we were with the other female] with A) another couple B) another man C) another female, and he was most comfortable with me with another female but is it unfair that he can have a relation with another female, but if I found interest in another man, that I would not be able to pursue it? How would I even be able to make him comfortable with the idea if this ever occurs?
I do realize that some of these emotions are due to insecurities but I still don't know how to deal with them, or how getting into another poly relationship will effect my emotional state.
Side-note: I am currently pregnant with our second child. I love him and knows he loves me, and at the moment I know that we are not trying anything new due to raising a little girl and waiting for the arrival of our baby boy. But I know at least a year from now when He and I are about to finally break away and explore that this would come up again and I would like to know how I should deal with it?
I know this is a lot, and if it seems confusing, please let me know!
THANK YOU IN ADVANCE
Fast Forwarding--> The three of us hooked up and it started having feelings for each other, however I started to notice that her feelings for me where not the same as my feelings for her. In turn, SO and her were really into each other, but the both kept trying to reassure me that feelings were the mutual all around. When I mentioned to my SO what I had been feeling, that I felt like he was giving her more attention, I felt that the where both going to hit it off and leave me out of the loop, that I felt like I was interested in her but she didn't feel the same, the list goes on, he convinced me that it was not true.
Around Christmas time of last year, she comes to us both and tells us that she did in fact had more feelings for him, not the same feelings for me and wanted to end it so we all did. Should have been the end right? For some odd reason, I felt like it wasn't, and come to find out, SO has been seeing her, without my knowledge, while the three of us were together as well as when we called it off. Emotionally and psychically. I also found out that she did in fact have a hidden agenda to break the two f us up.
I was very very hurt. But we have a one year old , and breaking it up didn't seem like the right option. I honestly to believe that he got caught up in the fantasy and the newness, but when I mentioned to him all of my feelings and some warning signs about her, I felt ignored and like he was really trying to push this relationship on me.Now, a month ago we got into the discussion of trying poly again, and I told him flat out NO. Not because I wasn't interested, I am Bi-sexually and would love to have another female or couple enter our relationship, but because for some reason I don't trust him in that aspect, or still have this feeling that he will leave me or become less interested in me once he is with the other woman, as well as other intense emotion that I have no idea on how to deal with. I know he has even wanted to do a poly triad, but I have not idea how to deal with that. One of the reasons is that I feel like he would find someone before me and I would be stuck not having as much fun, I am not a very social person though I try and I am not very good and starting relationships or any kind
I have even talked to him about how he felt about me [when we had our poly discussion during the time that we were with the other female] with A) another couple B) another man C) another female, and he was most comfortable with me with another female but is it unfair that he can have a relation with another female, but if I found interest in another man, that I would not be able to pursue it? How would I even be able to make him comfortable with the idea if this ever occurs?
I do realize that some of these emotions are due to insecurities but I still don't know how to deal with them, or how getting into another poly relationship will effect my emotional state.
Side-note: I am currently pregnant with our second child. I love him and knows he loves me, and at the moment I know that we are not trying anything new due to raising a little girl and waiting for the arrival of our baby boy
. But I know at least a year from now when He and I are about to finally break away and explore that this would come up again and I would like to know how I should deal with it?I know this is a lot, and if it seems confusing, please let me know!
THANK YOU IN ADVANCE
