Book: Love in Abundance

[A2Poly]

I'm a bit of a read-a-holic, and since we got into this relationship I've been reading everything ever printed about poly (ok, not literally, but I'm working on it).

This book has bugged me from the first, I'm about half way through now and the hierarchical assumptions and assumption of couples privilege being healthy and appropriate is just killing me (and I describe my relationship as secondary, so don't have a particular aversion to the language in general).

I'm finding the entire book rather triggering, as it is written with such an assumption that this is 'the one true way' that poly relationships work that I can't help but wonder if Djinn feels this way. Then she reassures me that she doesn't, but the up and down of it is wrenching.

I rarely give up on books in the middle, but this might be one of the few.

 

[LovingRadiance]

Bummer!
I'm a reader too. I was excited to see a new title. But that doesn't sound like something I will be up to reading.
I did enjoy More Than Two.
Also Love Without Limits II

 

[GalaGirl]

There are excerpts from the book here:

http://www.kathylabriola.com/articles

It has been a while since I read it but I enjoyed it. I got the vibe she was trying to deal with what she sees most in her practice. I thought she was clear in the "open models" section that there are cons to primary-secondary model. There are pros/cons to any model.

Galagirl

 

[A2Poly]

I thought she was clear in the "open models" section that there are cons to primary-secondary model. There are pros/cons to any model.

She was, and there are. The rest of the book (so far, I'm at 56%) discusses just the one type as far as I can tell.

She may be describing what she sees in her practice, but her suggestions for solutions almost always seem to be 'back away from the secondary and save the primary relationship', without considering the cost to the secondary, or the partner backing away from that relationship.

Anyway, my take on it is: if you are a relationship anarchist, or otherwise don't believe in the prescriptive primary/secondary model of poly, I don't think this is the book for you.

 

[realamore]

She was, and there are. The rest of the book (so far, I'm at 56%) discusses just the one type as far as I can tell.

She may be describing what she sees in her practice, but her suggestions for solutions almost always seem to be 'back away from the secondary and save the primary relationship', without considering the cost to the secondary, or the partner backing away from that relationship.

Anyway, my take on it is: if you are a relationship anarchist, or otherwise don't believe in the prescriptive primary/secondary model of poly, I don't think this is the book for you.

Here here!

 

[icesong]

Anyway, my take on it is: if you are a relationship anarchist, or otherwise don't believe in the prescriptive primary/secondary model of poly, I don't think this is the book for you.

Thanks for the mini-review - I think I'll be skipping this one.