I'm going through the same thing, Mono!
I'm actually coming close to finishing my coming out process right now... About half the guests K and I have invited to our wedding didn't know we're poly, and we decided to change that. (All of our immediate families know, but none of our extendeds did, and many of our high school friends didn't either.)
Rather than telling everyone individually, we decided to make it a part of the mad wedding process. Our 'wedsite'
now has a poly FAQ page-- it went live a few days ago. At least one of my aunts has seen it, and she chose to chat me up over facebook about my life choices in a really polite, respectful way. It was awesome!
It's so hard to tailor words to fit the audience. I really struggled with how much to say and how much to leave out, and how to word it all. It didn't help that this thing is aimed at around 150 people, which means around 75 who are in the dark and may never have heard of this.
I wound up choosing to use the word 'polyamory' and defining it, both in general and in K's and my specific case. I actually made that choice from an activist perspective; at the end of my two page FAQ, I want the person curious for more information but uncomfortable asking me to be able to go and google it. I also want that word to become part of the vocabulary of the people in my life, at least nominally. I'm lucky enough that I feel very safe coming out personally and professionally (I trust my employers, I live in a liberal area, etc.), and if I can be that one person someone knows who is poly without being a monster... I decided it was worth it.
What about you all? How did you talk about poly, coming out?
I'm actually coming close to finishing my coming out process right now... About half the guests K and I have invited to our wedding didn't know we're poly, and we decided to change that. (All of our immediate families know, but none of our extendeds did, and many of our high school friends didn't either.)
Rather than telling everyone individually, we decided to make it a part of the mad wedding process. Our 'wedsite'
now has a poly FAQ page-- it went live a few days ago. At least one of my aunts has seen it, and she chose to chat me up over facebook about my life choices in a really polite, respectful way. It was awesome!It's so hard to tailor words to fit the audience. I really struggled with how much to say and how much to leave out, and how to word it all. It didn't help that this thing is aimed at around 150 people, which means around 75 who are in the dark and may never have heard of this.
I wound up choosing to use the word 'polyamory' and defining it, both in general and in K's and my specific case. I actually made that choice from an activist perspective; at the end of my two page FAQ, I want the person curious for more information but uncomfortable asking me to be able to go and google it. I also want that word to become part of the vocabulary of the people in my life, at least nominally. I'm lucky enough that I feel very safe coming out personally and professionally (I trust my employers, I live in a liberal area, etc.), and if I can be that one person someone knows who is poly without being a monster... I decided it was worth it.
What about you all? How did you talk about poly, coming out?
