phantazmagoria
New member
Hey, poly world! I'm seeking advice from like minded individuals.
Quick background:
me and hubby, married for 12 years
me hubby and girlfriend, together for 2.5 years, living together as a triad.
Cutting to the chase ... The hubby and I had never wanted kids when it was just the two of us. He had a vasectomy even to ensure this. Then enter our lovely girlfriend ... she really wants to have kids someday (like maybe within 5 years). She wants to parent said kids with us - she's chosen us to be her baby daddy and mommy. But remember when I said we didn't want kids? Yeah, that's our predicament. Love changes you. We are considering it on various levels. I go back and forth with "its a great idea" to "terrible, terrible idea".
You ask, why did we start this relationship knowing there were different life goals? Well, honestly, we didn't think it would last. Call us pessimistic, but the likelihood of a triad working out is slim to none. Well, it lasted. And lasted. And lasted. And now we are all three veryyyyyyyy deeply in love with each other. We want to spend the rest of our lives together as a triad. She doesn't want another guy to father the child. She wants us, and we want her.
So my question, what the fuck do we do? How do we decide this kid thing? How do me and Hubby figure out if we want to do the kid thing with her after all? How does anyone ever know they want to raise kids?
Any thoughts?
Quick background:
me and hubby, married for 12 years
me hubby and girlfriend, together for 2.5 years, living together as a triad.
Cutting to the chase ... The hubby and I had never wanted kids when it was just the two of us. He had a vasectomy even to ensure this. Then enter our lovely girlfriend ... she really wants to have kids someday (like maybe within 5 years). She wants to parent said kids with us - she's chosen us to be her baby daddy and mommy. But remember when I said we didn't want kids? Yeah, that's our predicament. Love changes you. We are considering it on various levels. I go back and forth with "its a great idea" to "terrible, terrible idea".
You ask, why did we start this relationship knowing there were different life goals? Well, honestly, we didn't think it would last. Call us pessimistic, but the likelihood of a triad working out is slim to none. Well, it lasted. And lasted. And lasted. And now we are all three veryyyyyyyy deeply in love with each other. We want to spend the rest of our lives together as a triad. She doesn't want another guy to father the child. She wants us, and we want her.
So my question, what the fuck do we do? How do we decide this kid thing? How do me and Hubby figure out if we want to do the kid thing with her after all? How does anyone ever know they want to raise kids?
Any thoughts?