very young . very thoughtful

jayb1991

New member
so im 24. male. i move in with m best friend who is 46 and his wife is 46 2 years ago. we always talk about having a 3 way with his wife. so come last year it happen. so the last year i felt for her deeply and she has the seem feelings . and they have grown apart . but still keep it together. but she is all for me. so please help me understand
 
So many people come here thinking that they are exploring polyamory, when they are actually slowly transitioning from one monogamous relationship to the next. It's a slow, deeply felt process to let go of a person with whom you've been so intertwined and "poly" offers a way to more comfortably have both loves for a time. From your brief post, there doesn't seem to be any indication that polyamory is a desired way of life for anyone in this scenario. You're not indicating polyamory, you're describing an open affair that is illuminating the cracks in this marriage.
 
It's def a possibility they may just be in the process of splitting, people do stay together even even they shouldn't for a variety of reasons. It's really hard to say what is going on without more info. Are you are in a relationship with her? does her husband know? As a best friend what does he think? Has there been any discussions on the subject? What does growing apart entail? Were you moved in in specifically as a third? More Detail's of the situation might help
It might just be the process of saying out the fact's of the situation that will help you understand, or you might never understand.
 
Are you are in a relationship with her? does her husband know? As a best friend what does he think? Has there been any discussions on the subject? What does growing apart entail? Were you moved in in specifically as a third? More Detail's of the situation might help

Are you are in a relationship with her? yes. we been together for a year. Ive known her for 10 years.

does her husband know? yes. he like it in the beginning. me and her would hold hands. watch movies. take small shopping trips . cuddle on the couch. kiss.. ( keep in mind he like it because it made her happy. him and her never did this. ) so here is where the problem came in after a couple months..... her husband started to try all this new stuff with her. she did not like it because they never done that . never bothered them..

Has there been any discussions on the subject? yes. so many that she told him to go out and see other people. so now he gos out and dates females and all that.

Were you moved in in specifically as a third?... no.. i move in because me and my ex broke up. i always had a thing for his wife. but never cross that line...
 
Sorry to have hit you with a list of question's like that, wasn't trying to pry, there just wasn't a lot of info from your first post.
So he was into thing's in the beginning, then as it went on he became distant with her? with you? You did not mention how your friendship is affected.
It is possible he has had a renewed interest in her. Either from his own adventures or from seeing her in a more happy mood. Maybe seeing the way's you make her happy and he want's to do the same, like old dog learning new trick's? The J word is always an option as well.
Having her reject his advances to the point of demanding him to go see other people is something which makes me wonder about the future stability of their relationship. What may have started as one thing, is becoming something different. My best advice is to discuss what is going on, and expectations, both of them. Alone, and as a group if possible. There is an age gap here so assumptions may be different amount everyone.
 
Sort of off-topic, but what's the J word?
 
Ah, that makes sense.
 
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