Tales from the Time Share Wife

I decided to let Sam make things up to me by taking me out. He told me that he would pick me up at 9pm. I told him to get the truck washed. We had talked about doing this a few weeks ago, so he knew he needed to go to a car wash that he did the spraying himself, as he has a lot of debris and roadkill nastiness in the back of his truck. He had to get batteries for the air pump, as well as a twin-sized air mattress from Walmart. He had all day to do this. When I called him at 530 he said that he had already done these things. I heard children in the background and he told me that he was visiting family and that he had stopped by his brother's place.

He stopped by at 9pm to get me, but as we started down the block it was clear to me that he hadn't washed the truck and he didn't have the things he said he got. Then he claims he went through a drive-through car wash because he "didn't have time" to wash his truck. When I said that he had time to go visit his brother, he confessed to me that he didn't really go to his brother's house. He claims that he figured I would get mad that his brother and sister were at his house, so he decided to lie about it. I immediately made him take me back home.

I JUST told him last week that he was not allowed to lie to me anymore, that i always learn the truth and that being lied to was way worse. Well he again made excuses:

"I've got so much other stress going on right now and the extra stress of not living up to your expectations is just too much for me right now."

"I thought tonight could be a fresh start. I even left rehearsal early tonight."

Um, how are we supposed to have a fresh start when he KEEPS DOING THE SAME SHIT OVER AND OVER AGAIN? I keep telling him to stop lying to me and he keeps doing it! He literally had all day until 7 pm to do the things he needed to do, which was take 10 mins to rinse the back of his truck and swing by Walmart. There is absolutely no excuse for him to just make up some story about going to his brother's house. I seriously can't trust him.

He claims that he told his mom to move out already, but I highly doubt that is the truth.
 
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I don't know what possessed you to keep trying having a relationship with him after the woman on the couch incident. And now he is just lying again and again, and acting rather immature in a lot of ways.

You deserve better than that.

I forget - do you have any financial investment in the house you and he share? If so, I think you should get out of it.

DTMFA!
 
nycindie said:
I don't know what possessed you to keep trying having a relationship with him after the woman on the couch incident. And now he is just lying again and again, and acting rather immature in a lot of ways.

You deserve better than that.

I forget - do you have any financial investment in the house you and he share? If so, I think you should get out of it.

DTMFA!
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Yes!

And honestly my immediate thought when you heard kids in the background and he lied about it was that he was with someone else... And not family.
 
nycindie said:
I don't know what possessed you to keep trying having a relationship with him after the woman on the couch incident. And now he is just lying again and again, and acting rather immature in a lot of ways.

You deserve better than that.

I forget - do you have any financial investment in the house you and he share? If so, I think you should get out of it.

DTMFA!
Click to expand...

No, he rents it from my friend, I have no financial entanglements.

I guess I stay because everything seems so situational. I keep hoping if all these outside things weren't there, these things wouldn't happen. I keep hoping that he'll just stop lying and that every lie would be the last. I keep hoping for a light at the end of the tunnel, where his mom moves out, I can resume going there 2 night a week, and things would be good again.
 
Inyourendo said:
Yeah but why even answer the phone if that's the case?
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Because that would seem less suspicious. He could explain away the noise in the background, but what would his excuse be for not talking to you at all when he was supposed to be getting ready to see you?
 
AlwaysGrowing said:
Because that would seem less suspicious. He could explain away the noise in the background, but what would his excuse be for not talking to you at all when he was supposed to be getting ready to see you?
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Well from 7-9 he was at rehearsal. I hadn't had communication issues within. Monday, up called and he answered and we had been messaging earlier in the day. It's not uncommon for his family to stop by to visit. I just don't understand why he thinks that would upset me. I've gone over multiple times and they were there.
 
I think a more plausible explanation would be his sister, who just got evicted, is staying there, which is NOT allowed, and he doesn't want me to know. I'm going to check this morning for extra cars.
 
I went over there and he was the only one there. The house is pretty trashed, but I don't think she's been staying there, or if she did, she's not now. I'm really surprised that his mom doesn't clean. Even her living room is pretty bad.
 
Sam told me his mom is considering moving back to Florida. I told him flat out that once she's out, she's out. She isn't going to stay there when she decides to move back. She had two other kids she can stay with. Last time she just moved right back into the living room the apartment.
 
Ugh, Nate is talking to someone new and I'm getting twitchy. He commented on a pic of hers on Fet a couple weeks ago. So she private messaged him and they've been flirting back and forth. Then she mentioned taking it to the next step, and I guess to her that is texting.

She's 14 years younger than us, so I don't think she's someone I'd become friends with as he'd prefer. (I don't tend to have anything in common with youngsters.) In the past, he's made it out like he's not interested in women that young, so I'm surprised that he's flirting. IDK if he'll want to hook up with her. I don't think he is even sure.

Funny thing is she (Corrine) is FB friends with Sam. Turns out she's one of his fans and last year she use to hook up with Sam's buddy. Nate hasn't mentioned to her that he went FB snooping to her or that I'm Sam's gf.
 
Decided to go to Seattle for a couple weeks, drive down the coast to my hometown and camp. Lots of friends and family to visit.

I heard from my sister that my mom kicked out my stepfather. He beat her up again and was arrested. Hopefully it sticks this time. Her shitty church is making her feel guilty, saying "divorce is a sin." This is the same church who sent her a bus ticket to go back to the abuser a few months ago. They've already been divorced twice so I think she already "sinned."
 
I've been reading on the psychopath free forum. The idea that psychopaths put their victims in a trance/hypnotic state to cast a spell on them and keep them hooked, despite being severely mistreated, really hit home for me.

https://www.psychopathfree.com/threads/control-by-trance-and-hypnosis.1670/

I'm going to stop contact with Sam, and read this book while here https://www.amazon.com/Whos-Pulling-Your-Strings-Manipulation/dp/0071446729

On a cool note, work wife has decided to take Nate on as a lover.
 
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Nate ended up screwing my friend today. I was taken aback because I honestly thought she'd talk to me about it and that it would take awhile before it happened, not two days after they started discussing it.

Then Mary and Jerry got into a fight that lasted 3 hours about something stupid. I think Mary was upset that Jerry didn't want to go out, so he finally agreed to go out with her to calm her down. At this point, by the time we got to the karaoke bar it was packed and loud. Not only that, but Jerry had a bunch of friends all come out and I'm having a full-on panic attack because everyone is trying to pressure me to go in, when I just need some time alone to get acclimated. I feel like a rude asshole to his friends who were super nice. I was fine sitting in the car, but after 15 minutes they come out and refuse to go in. Then Mary is going on and on about how she went places with me last summer, but she talks to everyone all the time. I wish I could be like her, friendly and feeling at ease everywhere, but I don't. I've always had social anxiety. I've gotten really good at working around it, but tonight everything was working against me and I couldn't communicate that I'd come in later. I just said I'm really sorry and ran off.

If I'd known where we were going, I could have researched so I knew what to expect. If we'd gotten there early I could have gotten acclimated before the crowd trickled in. I would have much more capable of meeting new people. I wish I'd had known there were going to be three strangers for me to interact with, then I could have been prepared. Having social anxiety really sucks, especially when your friends just don't understand it.
 
Ugh, so after the anxiety attack, when we were settled back at the house we were all were talking in the living room. Mary fell asleep, while Jerry and I talked. Mostly I was reading stuff to him and we laughed about old times. Mary jumps up and takes a shower, then comes storming out and says she's leaving. Jerry and I talk about wtf could have set her off. Then she runs in and is all "Are you freaking kidding me?! You don't come after me?!!!!" Then she starts ranting about how everyone else got the good stuff and why doesn't he laugh with her. I tried explaining that we haven't seen each other in two years, and he and I wouldn't be laughing if we'd been together every day for 3 years, and that he's not a young man in puppy love. He's past all that gaga stuff. She was not listening to reason and it turned to be a 3-hour brawl between the two of them. I ended up locking myself in my room and bathroom because it was getting crazy. Only when I threatened to call the cops did they settle down.

Mary blames her outburst on pmdd and smoking weed. The next day, it's as if none of it happened, except for the huge hole in the wall from one of their heads. This whole situation totally traumatized me, because my mother and her husband use to drink and end up in physical fights.

We ended up going to a couple casinos. I won $62. But man, I can't believe how many smokers are here. I expected that with as health conscious as everyone seems to be it, wouldn't be happening so much. Back in Missouri, where smoking is banned inside everywhere, most people have either stopped smoking or started vaping. Now my dreads smell like an ashtray. lol

My book came in and I'm going to start reading it.

I didn't have any contact with Sam yesterday. He messaged me a few times, but I deleted them. It's like that movie "Love Potion #9," where the bad guy has to call the love interest every couple hours to keep him in a trance. I can't talk to Sam or I'll just get suckered in with his promises and mind games.
 
We went to a cabin in the woods yesterday. M&J have some acquaintances that invited them out last night. Everyone was older and really nice. Sitting around the bonfire for hours drinking and talking was a lot of fun. We head down to Florence tomorrow. I'm looking forward to that. I'm proud of myself for having 2 days of no contact with Sam. The 2.5 years we were together, we never went a single day without communicating.
 
Good job taking care of yourself! It can be hard to get past the now empty spaces.


Leetah
 
On our way to my hometown, we stopped at Jerry's dad's place to pick up his 3 wheeler. As he drove it up the ramp it fell backward with him on it and he hit the ground hard and injured his face pretty bad. He's lucky that he didn't lose an eye. He doesn't appear to have any broken bones, but he's getting a CT scan right now.

We just watched helpless as this happened, and like accidents always seem to, time stood still as he went backward, as we just stood in horror, unable to act. I don't even think we could have done anything. He jumped up in shock as he ran around with blood coming out of his head. Mary decided to drive him to the hospital because Jerry wouldn't stay down, and getting him secured in the car seemed like a better option, especially since it would take at least 30 mins for an ambulance to arrive.

Jerry is very lucky that it all seems superficial. I hope that the scans come back fine. The way his head and neck hit the ground, with the weight of the three wheeler, I was terrified that he was in big trouble.
 
I hope everything turns out okay!
 
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